Once again..


OK. Enough about my whole birthday hoo-ha.. Shall blog about what happened over the last few days..

Steph came over last tuesday to help me do some last minute packing cause we're moving on the 25th. Cant believe that my mum chose to move house on MY BIRTHDAY. Trying to make it more memorable right? *&^^%$#@

Was packing when i realised how much stuff i don't need. Threw away lots of stuff. At the end, i was packed ALL in ONE BOX.


*tIng considers.*

There are times that i feel like packing up and running away. Grab my passport and head to some foreign country. Experience things.. Meet people.. Listen to their stories. Like the character Alice/Jane in "Closer". Packed up and left.


I think i'm not that type of person who clings on to old stuff. I used to keep stuff.. until one day i realised that all these physical things doesn't really matter.. Its the memories that stays with me that are important. So i dumped everything. I don't like to dwell on things. It's not good for me.

Anyway.. Back to where i strayed..

Woke up in the middle of the night and realised i was having a fever. My throat felt like i had 2 ping pong balls in stuck in there!

*tIng points her 3rd finger and pouts angrily.*

Nabehz... Am i really that suay to fall sick on my birthday? I cant believe that it was happening! I popped 2 panadols, hoping that the fever will go off. Unfortunately, it didn't. The next morning, i woke up feeling weak, feverish and in cold sweat. Damm.. There's not enough bad words to describe how i was feeling. The closest word i can think of is...


Yes.. Ladies and Gentlemen.. My vocab is very limited. So i can only think of "FUCKED" to describe the situation. Having no choice, i stayed in bed and slept till 6pm. Cant believe i spent my birthday, SICK and sleeping.

At 6pm, i forced myself out of bed. I simply refused to cancel my Zouk night because of my little sore throat. So i got dressed, did my make-up and made my way to MW to pick Steph.

Reached Zouk ard 10.40.. Actually met Issac on the bus down to Zouk.. What coincidence. He gave me my birthday present... 20 small paper boats and one big one in a black paper box.


I saw no point carrying on a "thing" that i cant find word to describe. Basically had a fun time at Zouk. The minute i stepped in, i felt better. No need to medication. No need for doctors. Maybe i should consider going Zouk everytime i'm sick?! *considers* Bought drinks for everyone before i headed to the dance floor.


I had a great time.. Even though not many people turned up, i still had fun. Actually, i saw alot of people at Zouk. People like my friendly neighbour Chang qi, commandos like James and Spencer and blah blah blah. So many people wished my happy birthday and wanted to buy me drinks. *giggles* I'm not lonely on my birthday.. (Even though i desperately wished that Sailor boy was with me... *whines*)

I was actually quite disappointed because none of the GV people came. Not a single one. But then again, i shan't let this bother me too much. I'm the most important person on my birthday.


Stayed over at Steph's place and we went to work the next morning feeling sick.. Actually, i was just abit tired. She was sick. Very sick. Poor Steph. Must be me who spread the virus to you. *sayang Steph*

After work, we took bus 36 home. Somehow, i had the wrong impression that bus 36 goes to Katong area. I was wrong. It didn't stop anywhere near my aunt's place. I ended up taking the bus all the was to Changi Airport and back again.

*tIng congraulates herself for her stupidity.*

Nevertheless, i still managed to get I, me and myself back at my aunt's place. Still in time for DINNER. Ah yes..... HOME COOOKED DINNER.. Its been a long time since i had HOME COOKED DINNER.


Its not really a feast or anything. But i'm contented. I'm satisfied with a simple fare. I think i'm very easily contented these days. I don't have very high expecations anymore. I think it makes my life easier and also HAPPIER.

Sailor boy coming back tml.. Countdown begins!!

Friday.. Was secretly hoping the day will pass quickly cause my Sailor boy is coming back at 23.59am. Waiting for him to reach LAND has been tough. But i managed. I look forward to seeing him everytime.

Reached home.. Ate dinner.. Showered.. Did his present.. Wanted to surprise him.. Waited patiently for his call. And when he did, i literally jumped out of my seat! *laughs* Don't get me wrong. I jumped out of my seat not because of excitement but cause my phone was on the other table.

Anyway, we talked for a while.. went to bed ard 2.30am.. woke up at 7.30am.. took a cab to meet Sailor boy for breakfast!


I'm scared. Why am i behaving this way? Be still, my heart. I'm worried. Worried about me. Worried about how real this feeling is. Worried about him and other gals. Worried about everything.

I don't know. I don't know what will happen in the future. All i know now is i feel happy when i'm with him and he makes me laugh. I feel comfortable being with him and it feels so real. For the first time in many months. It actually could be real.


Sailor boy sent me to work after breakfast. Missed him.. Work work work.. He came to pick me after work... So sweet that i'm dying of diabetes already.. Gosh.. Went for dinner..

Heart racing.

Cant stop smiling.

Blushing. <- Note: This is not a gd sign. I cant believe i blushed. My face and ears turned red, i think he didn't notice cause the lights were dim.

Its not good right? All the signs of falling in love are there. Yet i refuse to acknowlegde them. I don't want to admit anything.


*tIng sigh..*

Maybe i should think about this again.. Oh before i forget.. Durffy learnt to climb the stairs today.

*tIng pats Durffy on the head*


loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I'm feeling kinda low. Nothing seems to be right. Its like one day to my birthday and i cant even feel the excitement in me. *sighs* I kinda wished that i could be alone on my birthday but i cant. So when i had to decide on the venue, where else but ZOUK!


I love that place. I love the music. I love the dance. I love everything about it. I wanna spend my birthday at Zouk. Lots of people could not come. That's the whole point. I don't wanna spend my day entertaining people. I don't care who's coming. If they come, we'll have a good time. I'm not going to beg everyone to come. I wanna enjoy myself. I know i'll enjoy myself at Zouk. I dunno.. I just feel that my birthday is no big deal.


Yesterday i had to celebrate my birthday at my aunt's place. Its not that i don't like company. But i was really tired after work and i had to rush to get my own cake. Yes. The birthday gal had to buy her own cake. Not much people turned up. It wasn't even a dinner. Everyone's eaten by the time i got there. Had to cut my cake asap cause people are waiting for the cake. (No one even bothered to ask me whether i had eaten. *shrugs*) Relatives too busy playing mahjong to even sing me birthday song. Children playing. I had to keep smiling.




Even though i was hot, sticky and tired.. *sighs* I know.. I'm not much of a big deal. But i was hoping for abit more. Just wished that they could make me feel abit more special.




The feeling sux. The "party" was more of an obligation rather than me enjoying myself. *slams her head* It was like celebrating for the sake of doing so. No one was especially interested in me. Or what i wanted.

Well, its ok. I'm used to that. I just need to whine about it now. I know i'll get over it soon.




Hope i'll enjoy myself at Zouk more. I jus wanna hide somewhere. My heart aches and i'm sad.


loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

People always says absence makes the heart fonder. I dunno if its true right now.



I wun say anything now cause i'n not sure of my own feelings. If you ask me, i'll smile and shrug my shoulders. Am i really willing to give up my freedom as a Singleton? Have i had enough of partying? Have i gotten use to loneliness that i'll feel LONELY without it?!

*tIng sighs.*

I just don't wanna make the same mistakes i've made again. I wan to be sure of what i want.. what i need and not just jump into anything. In case i fall again..

*tIng jumps up and down.*

Its official.. I'm gonna be moving at the end of the month.



I think i'll be a very good gal and go home every night for dinner. *frowns* I'm not upset that i'll have to go home early. I'll love spending more time with my cute nieces and nephews. I'll love to put them to bed every night. But i know that there will be times when i need my own SPACE.



Or maybe not to think. Just stone in alone in my dark room, light a candle, put on jazz and empty my thoughts.



*tIng sighs.*

I'm just being difficult again. Spoilt brat. Never contented with what i already have. I should be thankful for having a roof over my head. Why am i complaining?

*tIng pretends to punch herself.*

Anyone cares for a fruit punch?

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I always think that people live their whole lives searching for the one they wan to fall in love with. Everyone has a frame. A little frame of what kind of person who we wan love.

We are all looking for that ONE picture to fit the frame.

We try to describe that picture. We use words.. words like outgoing, smart, tall, dark, handsome, rich, caring etc.. But what if we cant find that perfect picture? What if that perfect picture looks right but doesn't feels right? You get what i mean? You may find a guy/girl that fits all the above adjectives. But does it mean that you'll feel right about him/her?!

I don't know. I've been dating for the past 5 years.. I've dated young boys.. older men.. rich men.. poor men.. Jerks.. Bastards.. What do i get out of all this?


Well.. Not exactly nothing if i take in the fact that i've been through countless heartaches, much too many messy breakups and not to mention the utter waste of my TIME.


Maybe we should all just stay single and have commitment free relationships? Less hassle.. Less pain.. Less of the feeling of floating in thin air whenever we hear their voices.. Less of everything..

*tIng gets scared.*

If i continue to be cynical and critical of love, i'm going to die SAD AND ALONE.

*tIng digs a grave for herself.*

*sighs* I have a feeling that being cynical is that ONLY thing that'll keep me sane.


loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

SoaKinG uP thE sUn 

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Check out the new SATC link on the side...

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

If one more thing go WRONG AGAIN, I'm going to KILL MYSELF

*tIng sticks her head into a microwave.*

Was awaken by a msg around 8 plus in the morning ..

Kit:
I'm going to thailand for bi-lateral training. Be back on 30th.

tIng:
What about my Birthday.

Kit:
What about your birthday?

tIng:
25th May Wed

Kit:
Aiya. It wun make a differance even if i'm not there.

tIng:
Ok

Went back to sleep. Really couldn't be bothered.


10.00am.
Woke up.. Decided to wear my new white dress with my white strappy heels to make myself feel better. Left my house.. On my way to work, i received a msg from Marcus asking me how i was. Happily, i replied telling him i wore my LOVELY white dress today.

Marcus:
I dont think you look nice in dress.

*A very BIG bucket of water poured onto tIng.*

There i was, in my nice new dress, and he just and to say those thing.


Okie. Its ok. Everyone has their own opinions. I can handle them.. *takes deep breathe* Don't worry.. Everything will be fine.

Unfortunately, here comes a series of freakish accidents.

Freak Accident #1:
Burned my finger.

Freak Accident #2:
Knocked my head with a metal rod.

Freak Accident #3:
Tripped over a wire while walking pass Suntec on my way home.

I thought by the time i reached home i would be safe.. *tsk tsk* I was never more wrong. Apparently, the "curse" followed me home.

Freak Accident (Home) #4:
Knocked my head while mopping the floor.

Freak Accident (Home) #5:
Burst the seams of my NEW WHITE DRESS while bending over to pick up something. I know i've on a LITTLE weight but bursting my seams?!

*tIng points her 3rd finger.*


I've enough. I'm not going to step out of the house until the clock ticks exactly 12.01am. I cant believe how many bad things can happen to one person in ONE DAY.

*tIng crawls into a tiny box and sticks a "DO NOT DISTURB" sign on the box.*


loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I'm sick and tired of the dating scene in Singapore. Its always dinner then movies. Or movies then dinner. Shopping, shopping and more shopping. Can it get anymore boring than this? Why can they do like the French people?

I think a date should be like this..

He'll pick me up from home.. (Of course i would like to have a horse carriage but i think that'll would be pushing my luck!) *giggles* We'll go to a nice restuarant, nothing too fancy or posh.. Just a nice and cosy place.. After dinner, we'll take a stroll in the park or by the beach.. And then we can just chill out there.. Star gazing.. Slow dance in the park..

AWwwW...

Afterwards, he'll send me home and at my door, he'll politely ask permission to kiss me..

*tIng blushes.*

Of course i would say yes.. But only lightly on the cheeks.

It's official. I'm crazy right?! I'm just crazy enough to believe a guy would actually do that!

*tIng bangs her head against the wall repeatedly.*

Wake up! Its never gonna happen. Singapore guys are just that obsessed with sex that they'll take their pants off faster than i can say the word "Hi". *tsk tsk*

I give up.

I should start dating foreigners.

I've already started. I just got a French pedicure.

I like it.

It's F-R-E-N-C-H.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Desperately need to:

1) Reformat my com..
2) Need to pack my room..
3) Laundry
4) Mop floor
5) Catch up on my reading
6) Revamp my blog

So many things to do.. So little time..

Just the thought of these makes me very TIRED.

I think i'll take a nap.. Ciao.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

All of a sudden, i'm bombarded by many triangle relationships thingy. Carrie and Burger.. Steph and Bunny.. Me and Kit.. Then i started to think...



If you met and feel someone who's already with someone, would you:

A) Steer clear and wish them all the best
B) Try hard to win his/her heart
C) Wait for him/her to come to their senses and realise you are THE ONE

*tIng considers all the options very seriously.*

I'm not too sure which one i'll choose. I think i'll most prob deny any feelings i have for that person and try to remain sane. Cause judging from ALL the Hongkong dramas i've watched, no man EVER left their wife/gf for the third party.

Unless, the wife/gf dies of

1) Cancer
2) Accident
3) Murdered by some sicko

*tIng shrugs.*

See.. Its never gonna happen. Men will never leave their sig other for the 3rd party. And chances of them dying is near to Z-E-R-O. Maybe i should plant a bomb and try to kill her?! *evil laugh*

Well, then again.. Its not worth getting in jail because of a man.

On the other hand, according to SATC, feeling something for someone who's attached may be God's way of telling you there's still someone OUT THERE. Or the other explanation could be God's telling you that all the GOOD ONES ARE TAKEN.

*tIng points her 3rd finger.*

I suspect that there are lesser men in the world, so somehow we gals end up having to share all of them.. Damm.. Why cant we have equal number of gals and guys? Would things be easier? Obviously Mother Nature is not very motherly now and not doing her best now.



*tIng walks away, shaking her head.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Put up a very VERY sexy pic of me legs on Friendster 2 days ago just for fun. And you know what? Within 48 hours, i've received 70 over hits and 4 new friendster msgs.

*tIng raises her eyebrow.*

Men are such visual animals. Just because i've put up that pic, i'm suddenly very popular?! Gosh.. If you ask me, i think men are ruled by their heads... Dickheads to be exact.

*tIng shrugs her shoulders.*

Sorry.. I'm such a sexist. Maybe that's because i have not met any guy who haven tried to get me in bed with them. At the moment, i think very lowly of men in general. I think my dog, Durffy, is more evolved than them. Well, at least he doesn't try to fuck every bitch he sees.

*tIng pats Durffy on his head and coos: "Durffy, you are going to die a virgin.. Poor You."*

Or maybe the reason why Durffy isn't fucking every bitch he sees is because he's GAY? How do you tell if a dog is gay? *considers* Seriously speaking, i've never seen two male dogs fucking each other..

*tIng scratches her head.*

Maybe its time to gooogle this topic. GAY DOGS PORN. I wonder what will come up?!

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

There are times when i find it impossible to keep up with the lives of all my friends. Even close friends like Candice, Daf, Huilin, Feng and Shiwei.. Things changes everyday.. every minute..


The thought of trying to keep myself update with all of them is tiring. *phews* So i kinda have to filter people out of my life. Unimportant people like ex classmates whom i've never spoken to...Random people who "pops" in and out of my life every now and then.. Strangers whom i've never met but sort of knew that they existed..

I've just looked through my friendster a/c, my contacts on my hp and my Msn messenger.. For a person who have only been on this Earth for 21 years, i've made a hell lot of friends from all over. Sch friends, work friends, friend's friends....

How the hell am i going to keep track of all of them while trying to keep my room clean, my laundry washed and not to mention TRY TO MAINTAIN AN ACTIVE SOCIAL LIFE?

*tIng bangs her head against the wall, knocking herself unconscious.*


During the last hour, I've:

1) Deleted strangers whom i've never met from my Friendster
2) Deleted ppl who i never call or msg from my hp
3) Deleted unimportant ppl from my MSN

There.. Now i'll focus on building quality relationships with ALL my friends. Quality than Quantity.

*tIng pats herself on the shoulders.*

Well done..

Point to all:
If anyone is upset when they realised i've left them out of my life, I'm sorry. Ring me or msg me again.. I'll try harder to be a better friend. =P

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.