Been thinking.. If i were a type of fruit, what fruit would i be? Could i be a watermelon? Or am i an orange? Would apple be me? Maybe i should be like a pear?

*tIng gives this issue very serious thought.*

After much considerations, i finally came to the conclusion that i should be a durian.


Cause like a durian, i'm very protective of myself. You know, thorns to protect myself.. Like a durian, it takes alot to break me down. I don't open myself very easily to others. But once you get to know me, you'll realise that i can be very sweet inside. Also, not everyone likes me but there are those who are my die hard fans. I'm also very hardy.. capable of surviving unfavourable conditions..

Ok Ok.. this may not be the most romantic fruit among all the other fruits. Some gals are strawberries.. Nice, sweet, pretty.. But what good is it to be a strawberry when you are easily bruised?


loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Many of my friends are celebrating their 21st birthday with much excitement *sniggers* I'm supposed to be looking forward to my birthday, which is like a month away. I'm supposed to tell people where and when i'm holding the celebration.


*tIng considers this seriously.*

Don't be mistaken. It's just a thought. I don't know what's going to happen in a month's time. I don't know for certain i'll be alive!

*tIng walks away, shaking her head.."

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Was home very early yesterday night even though it was Saturday.. No plans.. No clubbing.. Stayed at home and washed clothes and mopped my floor. *shrugs*


Goodness.. I actually felt asleep at exactly 12.45am! I'm a boring person who stays at home and do housework on Saturday nights. Had a very strange dream.. I was on top of this very very tall building and had to jump down from the roof. It was something like a stunt that i had to do. At the ground floor, someone placed this veRy VERY SMALL safety mat.

*tIng raises her eyebrow.*

In my dream, i was thinking, "WHAT THE FUCK?!" So small mat how to jump? What if the wind direction suddenly changes while i'm in mid air? Why cant they just put a BIGGER mat?

Fuck fuck fuck.. If i have to do it, i'll do it even it kills me!

*tIng licks her finger and tests for wind direction.*

So i jumped off the building and................I WOKE UP. Crazy dream or just a sign of insecurity?!


loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Been clubbing alot lately cause i just dunno what else to do at night nowadays. Too late for movies.. Too late for shopping.. Simply nothing to do.


Speaking of distractions.. I'm kinda caught in a cleaning frenzy lately. As my maid is no longer working for us, i've been busy washing my clothes and mopping the floor. Everytime someone asks me out, i tell them i cant go cause i have to go home and wash my clothes. I don't dare to use the washing machine cause its missing one leg (CRIPPLED!!) and therefore makes a HELL LOT OF NOISE when it's switched on. My only resort was to wash all my clothes.. I mean ALL MY CLOTHES by hand.

I must say this. I'm not very good at washing my clothes. I cant seem to get them clean. I'm never sure if the bubbles are soap bubbles or just water bubbles. *shrugs* I got so fed up with washing my clothes, i simply gave up and stopped using detergent.


It has gotten to a point where i thought maybe i'll just stop wearing clothes. I'll just wrap myself in some disposable plastic wrap as and when needed. *shrugs*

I know that's not possible so i knew the only solution.. GET MORE CLOTHES. Well, at least more undies! I bought another 4 undies from Topshop again. I simply adore those colourful underwear! Cant live without them! If Topshop ever stops producing them, i'll stop wearing undies.


My com is lagging. I have to go.

*tIng walks out, taking her laudry with her.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

*tIng walks into the room, coughing badly.*

How many days has it been since i last blogged? More than a week? *gasps in horror* Its like the first time since i was away for so long! *guilty look* Let me try to recall wat happened over the week.. Here it goes..

Sunday, 10th April
Went to Changi Village with Steph cause she had to take some photos for her project.. Wanted to try the so-called famous Nasi lemak.. We walked around for like an hour and then decided we weren't hungry. Instead, we sat down at little pub called Friends (if i remembered correctly.) Had 2 drinks .. vodka orange and vodka cranberry.. I nearly puked when i tasted the vodka cranberry.. Tasted like cough syrup.. eWWW

*tIng sticks out her tongue.. PUI PUI PUI*

Sat there for 2 hours plus.. After one drink, i was abit tipsy and suddenly felt like telling everyone how much i loved them! *giggles* So i mass-msged everyone in my phonebook.. "I'm drunk.. Haha.. I love you" Its just one of those silly things i do when i'm tipsy. Played pool for a while before we headed home..

Tuesday, 12th April
Off day.. Sudden thought. I should have pink hair. Went to Hairitage to cut and highlight my hair PINK. Yes... Its PINK highlights.

*tIng toss her pink hair around.*

No special reason to why i dye my hair. Just felt that it was the right thing to do at that point in time. Like that time i wanted to have my belly button pierced..

Wednesday, 13th April
Zouk night again.. Met the usual gang.. Army boys (Marcus, Eric, Spencer..etc).. Work friends (Steph, Amanda, Chase, Mag etc).. Clubbing Khakis (Melissa... ) So many people! I was so busy walking around talking and dancing with different people. *phews*

*tIng wipes the beads of sweat of her forehead...*

Unfortunately, my mambo night was cut shot because Steph was drunk AGAIN (for the ten millionth time!).

*tIng grinds and bares her teeth.*

I was sooo pissed when i couldn't find her! Seriously, when i finally found her, i soo wanted to chide her in front of everyone. But then i simply grabbed my bag from the counter and dragged her home with me. It was 1.30am. Damm. I was not even on the dance floor for more than one hour. Fucking hell..

Friday, 15th April
Went to Changi Village yet again with Steph.. Wasn't feeling all that well.. Maybe its because i hasn't been sleeping much these few days.. *cough cough* My nose was blocked and my lungs were stuffed. Went back to the pub Friends.. Played pool with Steph and her brother.. Had one drink only BUT i was gone within minutes. I suspect it was because i was sick. *shrugs*

Saturday, 16th April
Ate Kit kat at work today.. Am officially addicted to Kit Kat NOW! Even though i was coughing madly, i still ate it. Counter poison with poison. *evil laugh*


Jus got back from Su Ken's chalet at Pasir Ris.. It was her 21st birthday!

*tIng throws balloons into the air and set fireworks all around.*

Was at the chalet when i received a call from Spencer, telling me to meet them at ChinaBlack. *considers* I was tempted.. VERY TEMPTED.. In head my head, there's one voice telling me to go down, have fun and get stoned. Another voice was telling me to go home, do my laudry and iron my clothes.


So i came home, did my laudry and ironed my clothes. I'm a freak. I was about to iron my undies when my mum walked in and asked me why i was ironing my undies. *shrugs* What can i say? I just like my clothes to be crisp and clean.

*tIng sticks out her tongue at you.*

Mopped the floor.. Took my medicine.. Waiting for the effect to kick in.. *yawnz* I'm going to bed..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

We all want someone to be there in case we don't get the guy/gal that we want. Its human nature to be selfish. We all want more than what we need.

Greed.

That's what will lead to our downfall. In love.. In life.. *sighs* Why cant we be contented with what we have? Steph told me that the guy's reason for not calling that night was that he fell asleep very early. I couldn't tell her what was going on in my head. I was thinking that the guy most prob was out with the gal that's why he din call. *shrugs* Maybe i'm just being cynical again because of what happened. Its kinda sad seeing her like this cause i've been through the same situation and i know what it feels like. Trust me.. It ain't fun at all.

I have my doubts about men.

*tIng walks off, sighing.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Okie.. My whole upper body aches so much that it hurts even when i breathe.

WHY?

Cause i party too hard yesterday night! *giggles* Went to Zouk yesterday with Stephanie, Weiqi, Amanda, Kit, Eric and their friends. Had a very vERY good time. Really enjoyed the music and the crowd. Drank 3 lychee martinis and 1 volka orange... Yummy.. I'm so proud of myself. I didn't let myself get drunk.

*tIng pats herself on the back.*

I love retro music! Love it so much that i can listen to it all day.. Come to think of it, i love old old stuff.. the music.. the colourful clothes.. the accessories.. Sometimes, i feel like an old soul, even though i've only been on the surface of this Earth for 21 years.

Or could it be i'm actually possessed by some ghost?

*tIng shivers at the thought of ghosts.*

Anyway.. As we can all see the tag board at the side is filled with some guy/gals opinion of me.

I'm just who he/she thinks i am.And what he/she thinks is really his/her business. But i've decided to keep it all there. I think they'll remind us to be kinder to others around us. There this thing in the world call "Karma".

*tIng mumbles to herself: "Karma.. Karma.."

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

There are many kinds of people in this world. Some of them want to use you. Some of them want get used by you. Some of them want to abuse you. Some of them want to be abused.

I think the guy/gal who has been posting on the tag board wants to verbally abuse me till i:

1) Break down
2) Cry
3) Write mean things about him/her

*shrugs* The world is full of strange people who wants to be abused. I haven reached the point where i have to lower myself to abuse people so that i can feel happy about it. Clearly, he/she has issues about me. *considers seriously* If i'm really like what he/she says:

1) Ugly
2) Selfish
3) Overall a very bad person such that no one will ever love me again


Trying to break me? I've been through worse.

*tIng walks away, shaking her head.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

*tIng draws a sword from her belt and starts sharpening it.*




*tIng chases after you, stabbing you repeatedly with a toothpick.*


*evil laugh* Pain lehz... Jon said that i should find something to do to release my emotions. *considers* Stabbing someone with a toothpick seems like a harmless activity. Right?


loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

On the train back home, i started thinking about people and what they are worth. Nowadays, everything has a price tag on it. So do humans have price tags on them too? Some babies are sold for money the minute they were born. Some people sell their bodies on the streets. Different people are paid different salaries.




The more i think about this, the more upset i was. It was to a point where i just felt like sitting down in the middle of nowhere and start crying. I had to bite my lips to stop myself from crying. I felt like i was not worthy of being loved by anyone.

Then i tried calling people on my phone, hoping to find some comfort. First, i called Shaun (who actually promised to call me today, which he DID NOT and i'm so pissed i deleted his number).


Next, i called Issac. He was with friends. Will call me back tomolo. Asked me to msg him when i reached home. *shrugs*

Then, i called Jon kong. He was driving. Asked me whether i had anything important. Lied to him that everything was ok. No problems. Will talk again.


After that, I called Kit. Handphone was turned off.


Each time i put down the phone, the more i feel like screaming. I felt more alone now than ever. I give up. Everyone is too busy to bother about Meiting.


Seriously, if i've killed myself today, would they feel guilty? Would they wished they've spent a little more time talking to me? Next time when someone calls to talk, maybe we should spend a little time talking to them.

*tIng sighs and walks out of the room.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

According to my horoscope.... (Damm.. Its so accurate...)

Greetings Meiting --

Here is your single's love horoscope for Saturday, April 2:

If you wanted it to be easy, you could have settled for less long ago. So it's confusing now -- better that than boring, subpar clarity. Keep attempting to bring things out.

As if i wasn't confused enough already..

*tIng slaps her forehead with her hand and walks off into her room.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.