As of this very moment, i swear that i shall try not to puke whenever i go clubbing! So unglam to keep puking.. I had a few drinks too much.. Was almost as drunk as a lord. Luckily i din puke in the public area. I puked only when i reached home. Totally fucked up as usual. I should try to remember not to clubbing when my mood isn't right.

Had an awful day.. As everyone can see, kiat is leaving for Thailand. As a fren, i should encourage him to go pursue his dreams. I ought to let go by now as i already know that i cant depend on him or anyone else. I'm responsible for my own emotions.

*tIng lets out a sigh.*

Kiat..I'm not always there for you anymore. If you questioned the meaning of you in my life, i'm cant say anything more. I, too, questioned the meaning of my presence in your life before. I din't understand why you needed someone else when you had me. Am i not good enough? Why was there a need to look for all the other gals when you said you love me more than anything else? Am i nothing but a safety net for you? We are both each other's safety nets in some way. We always look behind and see each other there. Unfortunately, this wouldn't be the same anymore. I don't insist that you have a gf now. But that was the impression i had when i read her testimonial. I'm sorry if i'm mistaken. But when i wished you happiness, it was really from the bottom of my heart.

You say things like you will always be behind me when i fall. If you said that to me months ago, i would trust you with no doubts at all. Now, things are so different. We have become nothing more than strangers. My words are cold.. I don't want them to hurt you.

*tIng tries very hard to hold back her tears.*

We used to have it all. Somehow along the way, we lost it. Now we cant find the same feelings anymore. There were too many people in our relationship. Love is a world far too small to accomodate all of them. If only you had made up your mind earlier.. If only there was me only in your heart.. If only we were alone in this world...Jus you and me.. Happiness would be ours forever..

If i could have one wish.. I wish that there was only you and me in the world. You would love me with all your heart instead of giving your love to others. Am i selfish to wish for that? Am i asking too much for you to love me only and no one else? Why did you have to look into her eyes? Why did your heart move away from me?

Last Christmas, when we watched "Love Actually" together, i was so happy. Truly happy. I really wished for you to say those words to me. I waited so long for your love. I'm jus a gal, standing in front of you, asking you to love me. When i thought i had it, your heart went away. Why couldn't you lie to me longer? Let me be happy in your arms longer.. Let me pretend that there was no one else in your heart.. I've waited so so long but it ended too fast. Will you hold me in your arms and call me baby jus for awhile longer? Don't let me know about her.. Please don't let me know anything about you and her.

For you, i was willing to give up anything. For me, will you stay true?

Now i have to let you go. Let you find your dreams. You wun find me behind you anymore. No one to catch you when you fall. We cant go back to what we used to be. We wun find the same happiness. The same feeling of love that we used to know.

*tIng wipes away her tears.*

You will take care of yourself right? You will find someone who will love you the same way that i did. You will have to treat her better and love her more than me. Don't lie to her.. Don't break her heart. Don't let her eyes be stained with tears. Let her be the only one in your heart. Don't let your heart stray. Please don't stray... Take care. I wish for you to be happy always.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.