Have to go out to meet the GV gang later.. so in case its too late i would like to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Will be back to blog more later.. I have lots to say but right now i'm rushing off..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Was awoken by the sound of rain falling on my window.. The sound was so comforting, i buried myself further under my blanket. Tried to go back to sleep but couldn't. Instead, i lay on my bed with my eyes closed, listening to the sounds of the falling rain.

Dreamt about very scary things yesterday.. Was being chased by weird people (actually it would be more like demons?).. There was this creepy guy who tried to suck my blood.. *Yikes* Actually, i think there's something sensual about vampires sucking the blood from the neck.. Its somehow erotic. In those black and white oldies, the vampire always sucks blood from female victims.. How come they never suck blood from the male actors? *considers*

Am going to get changed for work now.. Will be back to continue..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Am watching the news now. Saddened by the images of people suffering and dying. The beach that Kong and i went to in Thailand was completely destroyed. Like what he said maybe its just not meant to last. My heart really sunk when i heard him said that. That was a very beautiful memory of us together, but yet now its gone. *sighs*


For this New Year, the only wish i have is to have peace in the world.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

This is a very important post. Please take me seriously for this once cause i feel compelled to do this.

I would like to urge all the people out there to please donate generously to the Red Cross Society for the victims of earthquake and Tsunami disaster. The death toll has increased to 80,000 people and it is on the rise. There are people who are suffering and dying right now as you are reading this. I sincerely hope that you will lend your helping hand. Your efforts will not go to waste. It will help to save lives.

Please click on this link to read more about how to donate.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I'm awake.. I'm awake! (Re: think Warcraft Bear)

*tIng lets out a loud roar!*

Am going to continue on yesterday's post.. So i think i'll start from what happened before we were at Zouk..

As usual, had to work till 8.30pm.. after which i walked to Citylink to get my specs and contact lens. Actually, i don't think i walked.. I think it was more like i tottered.. And why is this so?! Cause i was wearing my nice-to-look-at-but-difficult-to walk heels!

*tIng slaps herself on the forehead.*

So much for being a vainpot.. *tsk tsk* Anyway, i bought new specs and lens cause there's a promotion. $128. Quite ok.. I put on the lens straight away cause i wanted to try. Suddenly, the whole world looked sooo clear!!! Ok ok.. I have to say this. Usually i don't wear specs or lens when i'm out. So actually i'm as blind as a bat (or a mole, as Yanwen would say). People can wave to me from a distance and i cant see them till they walk right up to me. But anyway, i was reading every single sign around the train station! *laughs* Its like "Platform A: Boon Lay", "Platform B: Marina Bay" etc. So clear.. I CAN SEE!

Took the train to Tiong Bahru and took bus to Great World to meet Yanwen for a quick bite before we head down zouk. Was actually supposed to meet at 9.30 to 9.45pm. But knowing my friend, Yanwen, she will be and was really late. So i sat down a Mac Cafe to wait for her. Ordered my fav, Fluffy (Its steamed milk with 2 mashmellows!)..Nowadays, i seldom drink coffee anymore.. Its usually steamed milk.. I waited till 10pm before she finally arrived!

She had a chocolate muffin and tea while i had a blueberry muffin and apple juice. We started talking abt her and her bf. We finally came to a conclusion that FOOD IS BETTER THAN MEN.
Its because:

(1)Food will not dump you for a 16 year old gal.
(2)Food will not choose soccer over you.
(3)Food will not say that you are fat.. or how ugly your hair is.
(4)Food will love you no matter what size you wear.
(5)Food will not ditch you and go drinking with his friends.

In conclusion, FOOD IS BETTER THAN MEN. I think i'll start having a real functional relationship with my blueberry muffin. *considers seriously*

After eating, Chaiyang came to pick us up and drove us to Zouk. When we reached there, the queue was damm long. It was horrible. We had to queue for like an hour before we got in. Come to think of it, maybe i shouldn't have gone in after all. The music sux and it was too crowded. Wasn't that fun.

Ok.. So the rest of the story i have already posted it already and i shall not repeat again.. Its raining again.. Cold.. I feel like sleeping again.. No gym for me.. Its too cold!!!!! (Actually, its jus an excuse!)

*tIng sticks out her tongue.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus reached home from clubbing..Went for supper with friends at this steamboat restuarant which was not that nice.. Didn't really enjoy myself that much tonight for reasons i refuse to mention again. *shrugz* So i'm playing "Fen Shou Kuai Le" again! *sighz*

The music tonight was quite bad, with only few nice songs. I was yawning constantly since 1am.. Some guy standing near me actually shouted "Fucked up DJ".. I think he's jus being damm mean. I think even though the music isn't that nice, there's no need to be tat rude. *tsk tsk* Shared drinks with Sally and gang.. Volka ribeana.. My fav =P..

It was soooo crowded tonight that at one point in time i really had to sit down cause i thot i was going to faint. All of a sudden i just had difficulty breathing.. *makes a face* It jus came suddenly like the time i was on the bus on my way home.. I think its because of all the people smoking ard me and the cold air... Its jus sux to have sensitive lungs.. *pouts*

Have soo much to tell you but i'm really tired.. I'll leave the rest till tml.. I'm not working tml (or to be more precise TODAY). Think i'll head to the gym.. *yawnz*

*tIng walks to her room, shuts the door and falls asleep on the bed.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Woke up way before i should.. Maybe its because i had bad dreams again.. Absolutely pissed off in my dream. Couldn't rem much except for i know that some one was forcing me to take up Islamic studies! Goshl.. Have absolutely no idea where that came from.. *shrugs*

Anyway, been noticing that there were a couple of "regular" visitors to my blog. Would those who don't know me pls kindly leave your mark on the tag board? Would like to hear comments.. Maybe you wan to see more pics or anything, pls jus let me know! (though quite obviously its not possible to put up sexy pics!) *chuckles* Its not as if i'm the most beautiful gal in the world.

Eating my breakfast now (which consists of 4 mini buns and one cup of milo).. Its pretty cold today.. Guess i don't have a choice but wear jeans today.. Even though i have lots of fats in my thighs, they do feel cold!

Durffy's staring at me again.. I have to go now..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

*tIng walks into the room, dragging her blanket behind her.*

Its been raining the whole day and I’m feeling soo damm cold.. Something tells me that i wun survive very well in cold countries. *bbRrbrr*

*tIng wraps her blanket around herself and sits in front of her laptop, cross-legged.*

Was supposed to meet Sally and gang for a movie (Kungfu Hustle) today after work but I cancelled on them. I’m too tired and sleepy today! *takes out toothpicks and pokes her eyelids* Plus, its too cold for movies! *whines*

I think its because I din get must sleep yesterday night. Actually I went to bed very early ard 12 plus but I was constantly woken up by so many msgs through the whole night! First, it was Stanley, followed by Roger and Azan.. and when I finally fell asleep.. Sally msged me at 9am! Argh! And I actually thought it was a good thing for my hp to be working again!? Wat was I thinking?

*tIng shakes her head in disbelief.*

Maybe I should switch off my hp when I sleep. *considers* It started raining in the middle of the night and I din cover up well. So I ended up with a runny nose when I woke up this morning. (Re: Red nose reindeer) Now you see! That’s why you need to sleep with somebody! You need someone to help you cover up when its cold. *sighs*

Had to eat a cold tablet to stop my runny nose before i go for work. Due to lack of sleep and the effects of the medicine, I looked like this (@_@)!! I was basically stonning at work the whole day. But i managed to think of more New Year Resolutions. They are:

(5) Eat less meat and more veggies.
(6) Try to be nice to more people (even irritating kids who call me “Auntie”)
(7) Stop trying to fit in. Esp. since I’m born to STAND OUT.

I love resolution 7. I’m born to stand out from the crowd so I should stop trying to fit in like every one else.

*tIng lets out a loud evil laugh. *

Ok ok.. I know.. I’m just being egoistic again. Well, but its not everyday that I allow my ego to inflate to a size beyond control. *giggles*

Am supposed to go down Zouk tml.. I cant decide what to wear. I’m eager to show off my legs in my short skirt but I’m also thinking of wearing my hipster jeans. Argh.. Being a guy is soo much easier. Its jus long or short pants. *tsk tsk* Wish I was a guy..

*yawnz* I’m getting tired. Going to post some pics befoe i go off to bed now..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Me & Durffy (See my fats?!) 

My Pink Notebook!  

My Christmas Presents  

Me & Yannie (Shopping @ Tangs)  

Only 4 more days to 2005! Yikes! So scary!

*tIng faints from the shock!*

I better get on my New Year resolutions soon.. *takes out a pencil and starts scribbling* So far i've come up with a few:

(1) Be Happy
(2) Spend more quality time with family and friends
(3) Continue quest to PURGE body of FATS
(4) Find someone to love (in case of failure to do so, get pug instead)

*tIng giggles* The last one is very important wor.. Ok.. there will be more to come.. But right now, i'm off to eat my dinner! BRB..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I'm heading to the gym now! Gonna work off the fats accumulated since yesterday! Its a bright and sunny morning over here. Hope you have a nice day too! *muacks*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

*tIng kicks off her heels and throws them on the floor.*

I'm home! Went to Yanwen's birthday party at her house today.. Her dad cooked alot of stuff! Got pork ribs, turkey and, chicken wing and alot of yummy stuff.. He's really a very very good cook! Everything is soo yummy.. I ate like two plates of everything.. Such a pig..

*tIng starts to make snorting noises.*

The party was really nice.. we met some of Yannie's family and friends. Everyone is very friendly. Her brother was like pestering Chaiyang to play PS2 with him. Poor Chaiyang actually lost to a Primary 2 kid in racing game. Haha..

After the party, Chaiyang dropped me off at Suntec cause he had to buy something. I went to get my hp from Etc cause i left it there at work the other day. For your information, my hp can work liao!!!! *hurrays!*

*tIng jumps up and down in joy!*

Went shopping ard alone at Suntec Topshop.. Couldn't find the bag i wanted.. *pouts* So i walked to Citylink. Bought a pink notebook for 2005... Niceness! Its pink with flower motifs.. Been eyeing on it sinc Oct.. Finally bought it for myself for Christmas! (Its actually jus an excuse for me to shop! *winkz*)

Wanted to go to the gym this morning so i woke up like 1030am. But when i got down, every machine in the gym had some fat ass on it. Argh! Upsetting! So i had no choice but to go home. When i reached home, i promptly positioned myself in front of the TV and started to eat. *faints* Instead of exercising and purging my body of fats, i added more fats by eating 2 curry puffs and 2 otahs. *tsk tsk*

Shall go to the gym tml morning! Have to continue my quest to become the glam glam queen! *grinz*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Have you watch the movie "My Best Friend's Wedding"? I love the movie. I don't want to end up like Julianne. Jello can never be creme brulee.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Oh I'm finally back home! Its been a hell long Christmas, so i've have to slowly write down all the details!

24th Dec 2004

12pm
At work at Etc. Had a very small celebration with all the people at work (Eddy, Amanda, Phyllis, Janice, Bobby, Micheal, Sharon etc.) Had a small piece of cake (those kind with sugar icing).. Its very nice and sweet. I love the raisins in the cake. They also ordered pizza. Very heart warming, though i've only been working there for a very short period of time.

5pm
Sally and Justin came to pick me from work.. We went shopping around Suntec and Raffles city for Yanwen's bday present. Couldn't find the purple Nike bag that she wanted so we ended up reserving a purple Levi's jacket at Great World for her.

Saw a black top at Esprit which i liked. Its off shoulder.. casual but kinda sexy. Very suitable for clubbing! But i think its really very ex cause its $69.90. I think Esprit is over rated in Singapore. Sometimes their prices are so high but the cutting and quality is not that great. *shrug* I wun pay that amount for that kind of quality.

6++pm
Met Yanwen at Suntec. Finally we are on our way to Sally's fren party.

7pm
Arrived at Sally's fren place at Gentle Drive. Don't know anyone there so felt quite strange. Apparently they are all from the same cell group.

*tIng flops onto the floor*

Seriously, i felt abit cheated. I didn't want to spend Christmas listening to Christians preachings. *sighs* Couldn't be rude so we (Yanwen & me) had to endure the next 3 hours listening to them talk. It was fun initially. We had some food and they played pictionary and some ice-breaker games. But when they started singing Christmas songs, Yanwen gave me THE LOOK. I couldn't say much cause i don't want to be rude. But also, i'm open-minded about such things. As long as i feel that they respect me and my religion, i'm fine. I jus don't like it when they get too aggressive. *shrugs*

10++pm
Finally left the place... *phews & hurrays!* Justin sent Yanwen home before he sent us to Sentosa. Sally's frens are all at Sentosa campsite already so we tried to rush there before midnight for the gift exchange. I din really bought anything for the gift exchange. But I gave away the bear soap that Phyllis gave me for Christmas. Its not that I’m stingy or wat. But I jus don’t have the money to buy so many presents. Anyway, I also don’t use bar soap. =P


11.30pm
Reached the campsite. Met Sally’s frens (Jaclyn, Ang Sun and Da-ge). I’ve never seen them before so its kinda weird to join them for Christmas. We took a quick shower and went back to the tent at 12.02am. 2 minutes late! Nevertheless, we sat down outside the tent and exchanged presents. I got a small photo album that has Forever Friends on the cover. Its really nice! *hmm..* Strangely, I’m reminded of Jon’s gf (who loves Forever Friends). Not a very comforting thought though.

I have nothing against Forever Friends. *tIng holds her both hands up* I mean, I think its cute and stuff. But I kinda outgrown in when I was in Primary 6. *tIng shrugs* I guess I’m not really a girly girl.

But I really like Pooh bear though. I think I’m somehow like Pooh. Fat and abit blur at times. But we always look on the bright side of the problems we have. Its more of how I relate to Pooh rather than just liking it because its cute. You get what I mean?

12.30pm
Started to crap around with the rest of the gang.. Really tired but we had fun cooking chucky potato soup in the mess tin. *tIng laughs* Long time never use mess tin liao.. reminds me of all the things we used to do during camps and all the “food” we cooked with it. It’s a miracle that we are still ALIVE!

2am
Shagged out… Fell aslp in the tent even though it was quite uncomfortable.

25th Dec 2004 (Morning)

7.30am!!!! Argh.. So early! *yawnz* Sun is big and bright! Perfect way to start Christmas! *grinz* Washed up, changed to my bikini and cooked spaghetti, baked beans and luncheon meat for breakfast.

After breakfast, we packed the tent and returned it to the office. Headed down to the beach! I’m so excited! The sun’s perfect for a day at the beach! Absolutely PERFECT! Sun tanned and played volleyball… got bruises on my hand to prove what a GOOD player I am! Haha.. I love how the sun feels on my skin!

Got to know new friends at the beach (Kim, Tingting and Darren). They wanted to join us when they saw Jaclyn and me playing volleyball. Quite nice people.. Found out that they are graduates from SP as well. Wah.. Its amazing how small this world is.

2.30pm
Time to go home lor!! My skin’s red from tanning! I don’t wanna leave but Sally and friends had to go off cause they had other progs. I WILL BE BACK!

Had lunch at the market near the bus terminal. Went to buy Yanwen’s present at Great World. I was waiting for bus at the bus stop outside HMV. All of a sudden, this blue car out of nowhere started to honk. These guys in the car waved and shouted some things. I din really catch what they said and neither did I see who they are (I’m blind without my glasses!) Anyway, maybe they are shouting for someone else at the bus stop even though nobody bothered about them.

*tIng laughs and shakes her head*

We share the world with strange people.

4pm
Reached home.. but the sun’s too good to miss so I went to the pool for a dip. Soaked ard for an hour.. Too crowded with kids.. So I came home and took a nice long shower! I took a nap but ended up sleeping all the way till 11pm!

Gosh.. This means that I’ll be staring wide-eyed at my ceiling all nite! @-@

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Lovely heart stud (Paris Hilton's collection) 

Hungry Durffy =P 

Love or Bread?  

Am home.. Jus finished watching a movie "Ocean's Twelve" at GV Grand with Sally, Justin and his friends. Really nice show.. Brad Pitt was like the cutest guy! And yes, he dresses like a gigglo but who cares?! He's cute! And not to mention that he's a talented actor. The first movie that i really remember him in was "Interview with a Vampire". He's really good in it.

Its a good show, even though i've not watched the first one. Lots of pretty people (Caterine Zete Jones, George Clooney, Julia Roberts etc. AND they speak FRENCH.. Gosh.. I have this "thing" for people speaking french.. I'm not a hopeless romantic.. I'm a HOPEFUL romantic!

*tIng crosses her finger, trying to be hopeful.*

Saw alot of old frens at Grand today.. My "husband" Azan!! We literally jumped on each other when we saw each other! He carried me and spun me around the foyer.. So happy to see him! And also Diana, Shuzhi, Cindy and the rest! So happy.. They made me feel warm and fuzzy inside!

So many people are going away for Christmas. Kong's in Malaysia. Tingying's in Japan. Everyone's away. *sighs* Am going to Sentosa to spend Christmas with Sally and her friends.. I'm excited! Its been a long time since i've last been there. I really need to get my tan back. =P

Before i end off tonight, i'm going to post some more pics..Wun be able to blog tml.. So to all those who happen to drop by.. Have a Merry Merry Christmas! I hope all you guys will have a wonderful time.


loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Fred and Tingying (she changed my life) 

Sch shoes fetish anyone? =P 

Stuff in my bag (Notice that hp has no reception?) 

Poor Dragonfly..  

Jus got home from work.. Its mambo nite but i'm not clubbing tonight. Saving money and energy for next week.. =P

Nothing much happened at work today, except for a dragonfly got caught in one of the shelves. (Will upload the pics later). Felt sorry for the poor insect cause it was almost dying. Lying lifeless.. fluttering its wings occassionally.. I tried to help it. I wanted to get it off the shelves but couldn't. I hope it won't die. I don't wanna go work and see its body there.

*tIng frowns at the thought, cupping her chin with her hands.*

Had dinner with my parents and aunt at the Old Kallang Airport market. Am feeling really unhappy cause the dumplings (tangyuan) SUX. The filling was hard and the soup was bland. Yucks.. I miss the dumplings at Bedok market.

*tIng drools.*

Lots of funny thoughts in my head the whole day. Was thinking about wat Yv said about taking revenge on the gal who stole her bf. Both of us agreed that if we wanted to break up a relationship, its really quite simple. For example, if i wanted to break up Jon and his gf, i could simply just call and tell her wat he did that night. *winks* Its really not that hard to cause trouble.

But you know what, both yv and me think the same way. We will not cause pain to another gal if we can help it. Why? Its because we have been through it. Its much too painful. Besides, I'm much too classy to stoop to that level. No doubt at times i can be a total bitch/slut/tramp, i still have something called pride and dignity.

I am sometimes quite amazed at myself for being quite like Jon. (which reminds me, he's having a test tml, wishing him gd luck.) In a certain way, he taught me how to detach myself when having sex. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

*tIng wonders.*

Being able to detach myself does have some good points though. Some gals may wait for a guy to call or msg after they had sex together. But i wun. I wun have the same kind of expectations. Having too much expectations will only mean more disappointment. However, there's a catch. Being able to have sex without feelings doesn't mean that i will do it. Don't get me wrong. I wun go ard sleeping with men jus because i am able to detach my feelings from sex.

*tIng shrugs.*

Its hard to expain. But i'm sure you know wat i mean right?

Tingying's leaving for Japan tonight. I'm feeling kinda lost already. I hope she comes back soon. I need her.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

My lovely shoes 

Me & Nikki 

Went shopping with Yanwen and Sally today at Orchard. The Christmas lights are really pretty.. Walked around shopping for yanwen's present but we couldn't find the purple bag that she wanted.

Went around taking photos with digicam. Saw a band playing outside Tangs. I think they were really cool! They were singing the song from "Love Actually".. Really cute lead singer..
Anyway, i'm going to upload the pics asap.

I'm applying for SMU leh.. I'm not confident about getting in.. My results are really not that fantastic.. Mostly Bs and Cs..Kinda worried.

*tIng shrugs.*

Gosh.. Hope i'll make it in. Yanwen and Sally are also applying and their results are mostly Cs and Ds. Hmm.. Hope we can get in together.. At least i'll have friends..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Yv & Me  

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Woke up abt an hour ago with a stuffy nose.. Its starting to unblock now.. leaking mucus.. Fuck. I hate my nose.

Been thinking about what to do later... Am wondering should i clear out my room? There's so much things inside that reminds me of my exs. Maybe its time to clear them out since i've already shut them out of my life. But i just cant bear to throw them away. All the stuff that Jon bought for my birthday.. the saga seeds he gave me.. Fuck.. I need some one to throw them for me! Maybe i should call the gals over to help me.

*tIng shrugs.*

My room says "Meiting and some guy." It doesn't say "Meiting's room". Its annoying to come home and see those stuff. Yes, they do remind me of fond memories. But i need to move on.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Oh I'm back! Its been a long day for me since i was up at 8am! Heehee.. I'll just start filling in details on what i did today!

Woke up at 8 plus plus.. started "nuaning" in front of my laptop, surfing blogs, blogging and downloading songs. Talked to Roger abit cause he has to go for IHG. So continued doing stuff till mu mum woke up.

Had lunch with mum.. she suggested going to visit my aunt who's living in tamp area, also can visit my niece (who really looks like me!)! I love my nephews and nieces! They are my darling angels! =P But i don't think i'll have any children of my own. I was talking to Sally the other day at Starbucks and we were saying that i'm such an alcoholic. So i told her, my child will also be one. Cause i'll add volka to his milk! Haha! And i also suggested to Sally that maybe she might wan to add bourbon to her kid's milk as well.

*tIng grins at the thoughts of children in nappies drinking alcohol.*

Opps.. I'm straying away. Ok.. then we went to my aunt's house, picked them up and went to Sim Lim Square to look for a dot matrix printer for my mum's shop. I din realised that there are actually some cute guys at Sim Lim. I love geeks for are good with technology stuff. I've yet to figure out how to use a video recorder and there they are using these really cool looking gadgets! Never dated one though. =P

Argh.. I'm side-tracking AGAIN! Got to concentrate! Ok ok.. Moving on now.. I bought a pair of shoes at OG. Kinda nice.. Its black with pink laces.. Unique.. plus its only $24.90! Cheap cheap cheap! Will try to upload the pic..

Took a cab to TM.. went up to GV cause i wanted to visit some friends.. Guess who i saw?! Yv and Didi standing in the middle of the foyer!

*tIng jumps up and down with excitement!*

Ohh.. Its been such a LONG time since i last saw Yv! She looks thinner and prettier! I actually chose the right time to come down cause they were meeting Serene and Pat for drinks. Its been so long since we've talked! Went to take neoprints and cards with all of them.. So happy. Long time never take neo print liao.. Feels like i'm 16 years old all over again! Finally doing something nice with friends!

Sat around at Mac to talk.. Serene had to go off earlier cause she's meeting her fren. Yv is going through a tough breakup with her bf. Apparently, they broke up abt a month ago. She was telling us that alot of her frens broke up with their other half around these 2 months. Is breaking up a disease? How come everyone's breaking up at the same time?

*tIng wonders, holding her finger to her chin.*

But anyway.. Didi and Pat had to go home for dinner, so ard 8 plus 9 they went off. Me and Yv just sat and talked and talked! She was telling me all abt the things that her ex did to her. I listened and tried to tell her how i felt about her situation. Its tougher for her i guess cause she has been with this guy for a year. I can tell that she really loves him alot but he left her for another gal.

*tIng sighs.*

In life, there will be people who come and go. Of course you hope for them to stay with you forever but sometimes its just not possible. Instead of asking them to stay, let them go. Wish them well.. Wish them happiness and thank them for being there at that point of time in your life.

*tIng smiles.*

Felt that we really had a heart to heart talk today. Really happy to have found my frens again. Told Yv that we should both enjoy yourselves since we are both happily single again! So we decided to make the best out of the situation, we are going to Devil's bar on the 7th Jan! She was telling me the crowd there is pretty good. I'm not too sure about that cause i've heard that Tingying frequents there as well. I don't wanna see her. But what the heck?! I'll just pretend that i don't know her and enjoy myself.

Well, i have to say this. I've been feeling kinda attached to Tingying. Been reading her blog as and when i'm free (ok. I admit, its EVERYDAY!) I think its strange cause i've never met her or anything but yet she has sort of become a part of my life. Seriously, i sometimes don't know what i'll do if she stops blogging. Am i weird?

*tIng considers the possibility of her being a weirdo.*

I guess i'm so used to reading her blog that i'm addicted. Blog reading and blogging can be extremely dangerous! They are both highly addictive activities. Jus like sex. I mean, its not that you have sex alone (that would be masturbation). Its jus as addictive! You simply enjoy reading about someone's life everyday to find out what she/he has been up to and how he/she been feeling.

*tIng wonders what happened to normal talks on the phone with friends?*

I guess technology has changed the way we interact with other human being these days. We no longer call jus to talk on the phone. We simply log onto MSN or ICQ. Instead of writing a secret diary which is kept locked and under the bed, we write blogs for everyone in this blardy world to see. Also, we no longer send mushy love letters to our special some one. Interestingly, we send kinky sms to them. (re: think about Beckham and affair)

*tIng shakes her head, thinking about how little face to face human interactions there are.*

Fuck.. I think i've sidetracked AGAIN. You have to bear with me. I'm gemini. There's too much stuff (or maybe fluff?) in my brain. Everything seems fuzzy if you know what i mean. Have to stop here tonight! Am dead tired. Will continue tml.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Been awake since 8 this morning.. I'm surprised! Being me and so used to late nights at GV, i usually cant wake up before 12 if there's no work. Strange..

Went to surf around.. Never really noticed that there were friends from GV who visited my blog! I hope they are not freaked out by what they read here though. Went to read Serene's blog.. dear gal.. I don't really know you that well while we were working in GV. But i really want to tell you that whatever choice you make, i wish for you to be happy. You deserve to be happy. Don't let others get you down ok? If you ever need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me. =)

Anyway, after reading everyone's blogs, i suddenly have to urge to visit people at GVTM. When i read about them writing about L7, Candybar and smoking area, all the memories jus came back again. I, with no expections, also had my fair share of time sitting at L7. Its really beautiful at night. I guess its a special place to all the people working there.

*tIng shrugs.*

Am playing the song "Fen Shou Kuai Le" over and over again. I don't know why but i feel warm after listening to the song. =)

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus got home from town. Its like flooded with people. Cant even walk without squeezing. Went to meet Sally and Justin for dinner at Far East.. Apparently they just got together. Finally for once, Sally has gotten rid of bad men in her life! You should see her ex bfs. They are like bfs from hell. Always asking her for money and stuff. But she seems happy now. I really wish for them to be happy!

Bought another skirt at Candles! Very nice design.. Quite simple, jus black and green! Argh.. I should stop buying clothes.. I'm getting soo broke. =P

Sent an email to Jon earlier today. Told him about how i felt about being his friend. I cant be his good friend and i don't want to be in the grey murky area. So i told him that we should maintain a distance. I hope he'll understand how i meant. I'm not gd with words you know. Sometimes, i don't really convey my feelings very well. In the end, they sound wrong and different.

*tIng shrugs.*

Am toying with the idea of going back to GV as a Cinema Executive. I don't really enjoy my job now. I need something more challenging. I don't really know.. Maybe i'll wait till Jan..

*tIng considers very seriously.*

Am watching the prog on Channel 8 now. My cousin, Junyong, is a teacher from RJC and he led a group of students to India. The prog shows their lives in India and the hospital they built for the needy. I really admire my cousin. He's been doing alot of things. I would like to help too. Thats why i joined Red Cross in sec sch. However, it didn't turn out the way i expected. It was more like drills and games. Not really of helping others in third world countries. Give me a few more years. Once i get things settled, i'll join a volunteer group, get away from here.

I believe in looking beyond skin colour, gender and religion. To me, any child in the world is worth being loved. One should not discriminate others. I don't know. People find it hard to love one another these days. Too much unnecessary tension.. Hatred in the world.

If you see a dying man on the street, what would you do? For me, i'll just try to do the best i can. Let him die a dignified death. He may not have people to love him throughout his life, but at its end, at least there was someone who did care enough to stop and care for him.

Argh. This is getting too way off.. I shouldn't be saying all this here. Its a sensitive issue. Not everyone agrees or see things the way i do. You don't have to agree with me.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Been listening to songs by Fish leong, (Di San Zhe & Fen Shou Kuai Le). Just sat there and started crying again. Kept replaying the songs, hoping that after a few times, the feeling of saddness would go away. It didn't.

*tIng shrugs.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

If i could be someone else for a day, who's life will i steal?

I'm downright evil. For having such thoughts. Thoughts about taking over someone else's life. Thoughts about not being myself. An escape. Hiding from everyone. Living out someone else's life when i'm not happy with mine. Like Maggie in "Cuban Heels". She doesn't like her life She's a stripper. She was unhappy with her life. So she lived someone elses'. She followed Libby and David to Cuba secretly. Took Spanish lessons at David's uni. She lived for them.

*tIng sighs.*

She doesn't know she's actually beautiful. She's skinny, unlike all the other people out there. She's like me. Forever insecure about herself. Not knowing that we are both very lovable people in our special way.

Then why do we want to live someone elses' lives? Maybe we jus want to feel normal. Is it wrong to feel like that? Is it wrong to wan to feel accepted? This is bad. I shouldn't be having such bad thoughts.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

There are times when people are confused by who i am. They don't really know me as in know me very well enough as a person. I sometimes find it hard to confide in anyone. Since a very long time ago, i've kept myself emotionally distant from almost all of my friends. Like what Jon says, i'm a very superficial friend. But that's the way i've let things become over the last 7-8 years of my life. I cant say that its healthy to keep me emotionally distant from you. But for me, its jus a "wall" that i've been hiding behind. Its sort of like my only protection from the outside world, which sometimes can be very strange and cold. I do not expect people to want to enter my world. I don't. I've very much learnt not to be dependent on anyone emotionally. Neither am i responsible for their feelings as well. That's the way i liked it. Alone. Numb.

*tIng shakes her head.*

I always knew i should be trusting myself with my feelings. I always knew i should not bottle things inside me. I always knew this "wall" thingy was a problem. But up till now, its very much MY PROBELM. I don't expect people to come help me solve my problem. It already took me alot to finally admit i have a problem. I've been very much in denial, refusing to acknowledge the fact that my problem is A PROBLEM. So now, finally after so many years, i've clean with myself.

*tIng shouts out loud, "I HAVE A FUCKING TRUST PROBLEM!"*

My lack of self-esteem is often masked by my loud laughs, crappy talks, my thick make-up and all the cheerful side of me. Its true that i don't feel very comfortable with the way i am. So i try not to let other people see the weaker side of me. I jus simply don't wish to get hurt. When Jon started saying things like he wants me to be his good friend, i am very much surprised and puzzled. What is a good friend? I've never been a good friend. I'm always a very superficial. I ask my friends very simple questions like "Have you eaten?", "Hows work/school?" etc. I don't mind knowing more about their lives. I'll love to be around to listen to them when they have problems. But i jus don't enjoy telling them about me. Anything about me was kept as simple as possible.

Friends do not need to know for a fact that i'm highly suicidal, sometimes depressed or in all other words, insane.

If i ever decides to kill myself, don't be upset for me. You are not responsible for my feelings.

I'm not a complete person, at least right now i'm not. I'm not quite sure who i am. Lacking in what i do not really know. I guess i'll have to find things out for myself. I can try opening up to friends. I'm trying. I've been talking to Sally and Yanwen about stuff. I've been trying to make up for what was lacking in our so called friendship. Its not as if i will walk out from behind my wall immediately. No. Its jus impossible to do so. Its hard hiding behind a mask all day. But i cant help it. I don't wish to appear weak. I cant allow people to hurt me.

*tIng shrugs.*

Even Stan teo could tell i'm sort of hiding something. I'm actually quite surprised how much he reads me like an open book! I've never been close to him in poly days. But he jus has this thing, the way he see through people i guess.

I guess i've to learn how to make friends again. Next time this year, I'll make myself a better person. I'll love myself.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Finally bought new books yesterday. One is a novel called "Cuban Heels" and the other is a book called "He's just not that into you."

Been reading the second one yesterday on the train.. If i had read that book earlier when i first met him, i wouldn't have started a relationship with him. I would have walked away. Cause i should have seen the signs. The way he din really msg or call me, the way he was telling me he cant get over Esther were simply indirect ways of saying "He just not that into me."

Moreover, i realised all the excuses i made for him. If he's really interested in me in the least bit, why din he call me when i was away at Grand? Why din he keep contact? If he's interested in me, HE WILL FIND ME. Its really not as if i was living in Mars! I thought he was just getting over Esther and needed more time. But is it jus an excuse to have commitment free relationship with me. To be able to come and go as he wished?

I'm not a 7-11. I'm not open 24/7. You cant come and go as you please.

I don't know whether he really loved me in the end. I'm not sure about that. Because if he was, how come he had space in his heart for another gal? I cant date him anymore. Its not good for me. He'll just break my heart again, a year or two down the road. I am paranoid. Once bitten, twice shy, i guess.

Need to change my mindset. I'm pretty. I'm smart. I'm sure there's someone out there who will treasure me like a pearl in his hand. I'm sure i wun have to be the one hanging in the air. If the guy really likes me, he will find me.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Has been a few days since i last blogged. Din wanna use the internet during the nite cause i know it will cause unnecessarily tension in the house. Want to get out of here. Its like when you have problems at work, you can run home. But when the problem is in your house, where can you run?

*tIng shrugs.*

Went to Zouk on Wed cause Sally wanted me to accompany her as the guy she like, Justin, was going with his friends. She wanted to to tag along but she was shy around his friends. So i had to accompany her. Moreover, Yanwen was overseas.

I saw him there that nite. I knew where he would be dancing. I walked there. Jus to catch a glimsp of him. It would be enough. He saw me too. I could only look away and pretend i din see him at all. No point letting people see that i was close to tears. I danced and partied hard that nite. Somehow, i jus let the music took over all of me. I dun wan to know who is he with or wat he's doing. No. I don't. (But Sally told me later on when we were in Justin's car, that she thought she saw him touching another gal.)

Never mind. Its over.

Am going to the gym now. I've been working 7 days straight this week. I really need a break from everything. Home, work, relationships..

I'm so close to the edge, don't push me over. =(

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

You all might be wondering why am i blogging so early in the morning. I couldn't use the internet yesterday cause my sis wanted to use. She acted like she's the only one who's tired cause she's working and studying at the same time. Please. For goodness sake, I was working and studying for like the past 2 years and my hours are definately longer and tougher than her. My work at GV is like more of manual than stting in the office. I have to carry sacks of corn, sugar and boxes. Did i ever complain when i get home? Did you guys ask about my day? How about times when i fell down at work and hurt my back? Or the time i got bruised bacause of the ice machine? Do i actually deserve to get all this? Sorry. I don't go around talking about how tired i am or how stressed i am at school and at work.

I know i can jolly well just sit back and ask for money from Mum and Dad. But sorry, i cant do that cause i know they have difficulties. That's why i never complain. I never insist that i have to go study uni as well. Not because i dun wan to but because i dun wan to add to their burden. Given a chance, who wun not wan to study. If i had more time to study instead of having to work like 4-5 times a week, don't you think i would have made it to uni?

*tIng shrugs.*

Dont act as if you are suffering. If you chose this path, jus take it. You dun have to let everyone know that you are tired and blah blah blah.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I really dunno what i should blog about today. But here's a song that i really like.. Its been in my head all day at work..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I would have never caused you pain and hurt you the way i did tonight. I would never have thought of that. I loved you too much to do that. Loved you too much.. but what did you do? The pain you caused has never left me. Its has always been there since Sept 25. Since the day i found out.. Why tell me now that you love me, miss me and wish to hold me in your arms? Why say that now when i dun wan it anymore? When i wanted it so much, you gave it so readily to someone else. Isn't it too late for regrets now?

I've caused you pain tonight. I've have to break your heart again and again. Have to be heartless to you cause if i don't, you'll never stop loving me. If you don't stop loving me, you wun love another person. Jus go. Tonight, my heart is stone and my words are cold. They've hurt you more than you ever deserve to be hurt. You said a part of you have died. I've died a long time ago.

Let's just let go of everything tonight. Let's jus pretend we've never met.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Someone to cheer me up 

someone to make me feel better tonight. 

I'm so full.. Jus had porridge at Chinatown with my parents and sis... Wanted to much to have the frog's porridge but couldn't cause my whole family thinks its cruel to kill frogs.. tsk tsk. Never mind.. I'll have skip that tonight..

My sis starting her new job at Singapore Press tml... She's going to write for the Newpaper. Its such a crap paper. They way my sister describes it, "Its like writing about pigs giving birth to kittens." Hahahaha....

I'm so pissed off with Starhub.. I simply cant get my fone to work. I've tried calling their customer hotline. After like 10 mins of pressing "Press 1 for English, 2 for chinese.. etc.", i still cant get through. Where are all the humans? I wan to speak to someone.. NOT the machines. Idiotic bastards..

Am planning for my 21st birthday party.. Am thinking of holding a chalet at first but i think its abit too troublesome. So i've decided to hold a garden party at GV Grand. I've decided on the theme as well.. Its going to be GLAM GLAM party! I'm going ask everyone to wear black, white or pink. And there's going to be lots and lots of alcohol! Volka, red and white wine, beer.. Let's PARTY!! And after the party, its going to be ZOUK. So looking forward to my birthday!!!

*tIng grins from ear to ear.*

Am talking to this guy on msn lately.. I think he's wants to have a fling with me or something. He has been trying to flirt with me. Too bad i'm not interested. Flings are too messy. I don't think i am capable of dealing with emotional fuckwittage now. He wans a part time lover. I don't. I need more than that.

*tIng sighs.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Its been raining the whole fucking day. Gloomy and depressing. Sux. Felt really cold at work all day...

Was walking from City hall to work.. I always look up at the building (Conrad hotel etc) and i like to think and pretend that i'm a giant. Then i'll come walking down the street, picking the buildings up like Lego toys.. Nice.. Its like the show "Honey, i blew up the kid."

Been talking to my sister.. She owe her friend, Bryan, some money and she feels really bad about it. My mum suggested that i lend her money from my savings so that she can repay him. She says its better to owe family money than to owe others. So i said fine... BUT.. I'm the FIRST CREDITOR. This means that when my sister has money, she will have to repay me BEFORE anyone else (Amir or Nikki..). And if she decides to declare bankrupt, she cannot consume any Starbucks drinks in my presence and neither can she purchase any new things without me using them FIRST! Haha.. I'm enjoying this thought...

*tIng grins widely.*

I like being mean at times.. Mean to my sister.. Mean to everyone around me once in a while.. Like this morning, i simply din feel like giving up my seat to eldery. Its not that i'm inconsiderate or wat. Its jus sometimes, some days i jus feel like sitting down for goodness sake!

Found another function for my handphone. It doubles up as a watch cause somehow or another i've misplaced my watch. Ok. So now my handphone has more than one function. BUT it still cant be used to CALL or MSG! What good is a phone when it cant call?

*tIng takes out a hammer and starts to pound her handphone into pieces.*

Anyway, i'm watching "Runaway Bride" on tv now. I really love Richard Gere and Julia Roberts. I love the movie "Pretty Woman" too.. Going to concentrate on my show now. Be back soon. =P

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

This is going to be a long post cause there's really alot of things that happened today.. Here it goes..

First thing i did after showering this morning was to measure my waist. Its now 25 inches, meaning that i'm actually pleasantly plump! Jus one more inch to go..

*tIng sticks out her tongue.*

Next, my butt is 35 inches! *tIng gaspes in horror!* Fat butt! Absolutely repulsive! To think that my butt is now aching from all the gym sessions. Yucks! Definately needs more toning.. well at least its less flabby now.

*tIng grins.*

That day, Sally and Yanwen were asking me about this turquoise colour bra that i used to love wearing in school. I proudly told them that i have OUTGROWN the bra! Haha.. I've grown!!!

Ok ok.. enough about my imperfect figure..

Today at work, Amanda told me that Inizio is considering me for a full time position. This means that i maybe working at Seiyu, latest end of Jan. I'm actually not very sure if i would take the job. I might take it if the pay and the benefits are good. But i still hope to further my studies. Maybe i'll put it on hold...

*tIng considers seriously and sighs.*

Been doing alot of catching up with people from my club (SP Sport clubs).. Apparently alot of my seniors are getting married or are happily attached.. Jane and Alan are getting a condo together.. Kun's going Aussie with gf.. Why is everyone so happy?

*tIng is disgusted at the thought of all the happy couples in the world.*

Oh.. i must mention this! DIE DIE must say.. My stupid handphone is reduced to nothing but a toy phone. Ever since Starhub cut off my line, i cant make outgoing calls or send any blardy msgs. The only function that i can use is the ALARM function.

*tIng shouts FUCK and points her 3rd finger in the air!*

I rather get those kind of ancient handphone.. At least can use as water bottle! Haha.. I hate Starhub. Its been like 2 days since i paid but they still haven reconnect my line. What the hell are they waiting for? Now i can only wait for people to call me. I'm stuck using coin phones. Wat the hell?

Opps.. i have to go.. Have to work tml.. Full shift again..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus reached home... Went to orchard with sally and yanwen.. I was walking around orchard alone for around 2 hours.. Walked all over.. Window shopped.. Its abit scary to walk alone in orchard. I mean.. There's so many people and you are all alone. You walk around.. feeling as though people are staring at you, whispering or laughing at you... You try to dodge their glances..

Walked around.. Visited Miki at Taka and Ginger at Tangs... Talked abit.. Did abit of catching up..

Went to Sally's fren's shop at Far east. Its a small boutique call "Candles". I bought a skirt there. Its really pretty.. abit of glitter and prints. They have some really nice clothes. Think i'm obsessed with skirts these few weeks. People who knows me knows that i'm a jeans or shorts with sandels person. I seriously dunno what got into me lately. Its been all skirts and heels. I feel like a changed person.

*tIng shrugs.*

After shopping, we ate dinner at Cineleisure. Sally's fren, Justin, came to join us. Apparently, its his birthday and his sch frens (NUS sports club) are celebrating it for him. He's a nice person. Quite quiet though.. But nice.

After dinner, the gals and i sat at Starbucks and talked and talked. Its been a long time since we had a long chat. Feels like it was jus yesterday when we were all sitting at SP Foodcourt 5. We talked about club stuff.. talked about relationships..

I missed my bus because we were talking too happily. Was actually waiting for 518 at the bus stop outside HMV. Waited very long till i realised that the last bus had already gone off. Stupid me.. So i had to walk to another bus stop to take no. 14. Fortunately, i managed to catch the last bus. But when i reached Tanah Merah, i had to take a cab back home.

I'm off to shower.. Have to help my sis with her book later..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus woke up.. Din go to the gym cause i'm too stoned from drinking last nite. Am going out with Yanwen and Sally later. They are going to apply for SMU. Was considering whether i should join them but i really don't have the money to study. Maybe i'll apply after working a few years.

*tIng sighs.*

Going out to get my mind off things for awhile. I don't wanna sit at home. Somehow my thoughts always lead back to the same things. She's waiting for him. I've read her frenster. I shouldn't care. I shouldn't feel anything. I have to let it go. We are the same. Waiting for him like i waited last year. This year, she's waiting for him. I've to let it go now.

*tIng turns and walks away, refusing to look back.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

As of this very moment, i swear that i shall try not to puke whenever i go clubbing! So unglam to keep puking.. I had a few drinks too much.. Was almost as drunk as a lord. Luckily i din puke in the public area. I puked only when i reached home. Totally fucked up as usual. I should try to remember not to clubbing when my mood isn't right.

Had an awful day.. As everyone can see, kiat is leaving for Thailand. As a fren, i should encourage him to go pursue his dreams. I ought to let go by now as i already know that i cant depend on him or anyone else. I'm responsible for my own emotions.

*tIng lets out a sigh.*

Kiat..I'm not always there for you anymore. If you questioned the meaning of you in my life, i'm cant say anything more. I, too, questioned the meaning of my presence in your life before. I din't understand why you needed someone else when you had me. Am i not good enough? Why was there a need to look for all the other gals when you said you love me more than anything else? Am i nothing but a safety net for you? We are both each other's safety nets in some way. We always look behind and see each other there. Unfortunately, this wouldn't be the same anymore. I don't insist that you have a gf now. But that was the impression i had when i read her testimonial. I'm sorry if i'm mistaken. But when i wished you happiness, it was really from the bottom of my heart.

You say things like you will always be behind me when i fall. If you said that to me months ago, i would trust you with no doubts at all. Now, things are so different. We have become nothing more than strangers. My words are cold.. I don't want them to hurt you.

*tIng tries very hard to hold back her tears.*

We used to have it all. Somehow along the way, we lost it. Now we cant find the same feelings anymore. There were too many people in our relationship. Love is a world far too small to accomodate all of them. If only you had made up your mind earlier.. If only there was me only in your heart.. If only we were alone in this world...Jus you and me.. Happiness would be ours forever..

If i could have one wish.. I wish that there was only you and me in the world. You would love me with all your heart instead of giving your love to others. Am i selfish to wish for that? Am i asking too much for you to love me only and no one else? Why did you have to look into her eyes? Why did your heart move away from me?

Last Christmas, when we watched "Love Actually" together, i was so happy. Truly happy. I really wished for you to say those words to me. I waited so long for your love. I'm jus a gal, standing in front of you, asking you to love me. When i thought i had it, your heart went away. Why couldn't you lie to me longer? Let me be happy in your arms longer.. Let me pretend that there was no one else in your heart.. I've waited so so long but it ended too fast. Will you hold me in your arms and call me baby jus for awhile longer? Don't let me know about her.. Please don't let me know anything about you and her.

For you, i was willing to give up anything. For me, will you stay true?

Now i have to let you go. Let you find your dreams. You wun find me behind you anymore. No one to catch you when you fall. We cant go back to what we used to be. We wun find the same happiness. The same feeling of love that we used to know.

*tIng wipes away her tears.*

You will take care of yourself right? You will find someone who will love you the same way that i did. You will have to treat her better and love her more than me. Don't lie to her.. Don't break her heart. Don't let her eyes be stained with tears. Let her be the only one in your heart. Don't let your heart stray. Please don't stray... Take care. I wish for you to be happy always.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus got home.. Spent the whole day shopping with my sister, her bf and Nikki. Think i overspent AGAIN... Argh!! Never mind.. I'll jus starve for the rest of the month! Heehee.. Can diet as well.. Bought a nice skirt that's purple and white.. I'm really into skirts these days.. Pretty.. Also bought a new pair of heels from Charles and Keith. Am going to ditch my old look..

Was browsing at Times bookstore jus now. There's a few books that i'm quite interested in getting.. Namely:

1) He's Just Not That Into You : The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendth, Liz Tuccillo
2) Can You Keep a Secret? by Sophie Kinselle
3) The Devil wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger

I'm also looking for books about quotes. I love quotes. I've been reading this book of quotations at Inizio. There's one i really like and it goes like this, "It never pays to be rude. But it never pays to be half rude either."

*tIng nods her head in complete agreement of the quote.*

Haha.. Don't you think this is so true? Since you are already rude to the person, why only be half rude only? *tsk tsk*

Nothing else to blog about today leh.. Mental block... Cant think of anything to write about.. Think i'll let my brain rest for one day...

*tIng opens her skull, takes out her brain and puts it into a glass jar.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus woke up.. Its so cold here. Sky looks grey and dark. Had very strange dreams yesterday. Dreamt that i had a confrontation with Tingying and told her EVERYTHING. Told her off.. Argh.. Was so upset in my dream that i woke up.

Jus checked my friendster a/c.. Apparently Yuan still have not replied my msg. Great! Now he must be thinking that i'm some infatuated gal. Fuck fuck fuck. He must be thinking that i'm some kind of weird freak now.

*tIng drop dead on the floor, foaming at the mouth.*

Argh.. Never mind. He never existed in my life anyway. No loss.. *shrugz*

I'm going off to the gym now. Going to sweat my guts out. I jus measured my waist yesterday and it was a shocking 26 inches. Fuck.. I look like a water barral with no waistline. Must purge body of fats and emerge a divine sex goddess! Hahaha.. Crazy thought!

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I'm soo tired.. Cant keep my eyes open.

*tIng yawns. She takes out some toothpicks and forces her eyelids open.*

My hp line is cut off again! For the ten millionth time already! Haiz.. Things have been so hectic these days that i forgotten all about paying my hp bill. Gosh.. Better remember to pay it tml. I have a busy day tml. Basically, i have to go to the gym, trim my eyebrows at Eastpoint, pay my hp bill and also buy present for Nikki's birthday. Argh.. So many things to do but so little time..

I'm feeling low. Feeling upset. Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. When you know that he's comforting someone new and that person openly declares that she likes him and wants to be with him, how would you feel? I can only wish them all the best. Forget it. I'm not going to think about it. It'll jus make matters worse. Make it more complicated. I like the way things are now. Simple. Its jus home, work and home again. Simple.

*tIng sighs.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Before i forget again.. I better put this down. Actually i wanted to blog it yesterday but as you can already tell, I forgot. =P


Shakespeare, As you like it

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I'm so screwed! I cant believe what i did at work today.

*tIng faints and drops onto the floor.*

Ok.. Basically, while at work today, i actually sent a msg to this guy that i used to know from poly. Not that i really know him as in know him as a friend or something. But he's like THE HUNK in sch! Seriously, i really didn't know what the HELL was i thinking! I was jus trying to show Eddy his photo cause Eddy's always interested in hunky type of guys. So i went onto friendster and showed Eddy his photo. Maybe i'm going nuts. I just suddenly thought that i didn't want to know him without knowing him as a person. So i jus sent him a msg, explaining that i want to add him as my friend. GOSH! Now i'm really regretting it! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! Now he must be thinking that i'm another freak of nature who msg people like nobody's business! Oh god.. really wish there's a hole to hide.. =(

*tIng walks outside, starts digging a hole and buries herself.*

I'm so dead... Wish there was a way to delete the msg! Hope he doesn't open it! Wish there are some weird viruses that will eat up msgs!! FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Since i'm on the topic of stupid things that i do, i might as well say this as well. Somehow, today while stapling some receipts and stuff, i managed to staple my finger. One blardy end of the bullet actually pierced into the flesh under my nail. What the hell man! FUCK! The best part is there's no way of stopping the bleeding because the wound is under the nail! BEST!

*tIng congratulates herself on being the most accident-prone human on surface of Earth.*

Now i actually can understand why Manchurians used to torture people by sticking needles up under their nails. Damm hell painful! If there's ever an award for the most creative type of torture, i'm quite sure they'll win hands down. Hmm.. On seconds thoughts, maybe not the Manchurians. Maybe the Japanese or Hitler?

Argh.. Am going to shower now and try not to think about it.. *winks*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Saw a guy on the mrt, on my way to work, wearing a bright yellow tee-shirt that says "I was born intelligent" in the front and "But education ruined me." on the back. Was actually debating whether to go up to him to tell him that i can really see how education has ruined his intelligence. It has also ruined his fashion sense. Its practically suicidal to wear that shirt out. *shrugz*

Was almost knocked down by a car today while crossing the road from Suntec. Too engrossed in my thoughts... its hard to concentrate on the outside world when my brain cells are moving like damm fast.. Should try to be more careful next time.. Don't wanna suffer a premature death..

Very upset for my right foot lately.. It has been getting into a hell lot of accidents. To name a few,

1) Bruised shin
2) Kicked once on the mrt
3) Stepped on twice on the bus (the same bus!!)
4) A blister on the heel

Gosh.. maybe it has been cursed? Maybe i should pour some holy water over it (holy water.aka.water used to extinguish burning yellow paper with red wordings)..

*tIng considers seriously.*

Am very disturbed by thoughts of ex-bfs shagging other women. I've read in a mag somewhere that women tend to dwell on a failed relationship while their male partners move on and almost immediately start propagating their genes. Humph.. Propagating their genes.. Maybe should call ex-bfs and wish them "Happy Fathers' Day!" Very mean indeed.. =P Nah.. I'm such a darling.. How could i do this horrible thing? Maybe will jus send them Fathers' day cards instead! Jus joking anyway.. Not really intending to do so...

On second thoughts, maybe should really call up ex-bfs to wish them Merry Christmas? Or send them Christmas cards? Hmmm... Its worth a thought.. But i dun have their addresses. Argh.. Jus forget it. Ex-bfs are too busy shagging pretty little gals.. Horrible Horrible thoughts!! Blardy Hell...

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Friday nite.. Jus came home from my cousin's chalet at Pasir Ris. Had a few chicken wings, fish and otahs.. Din eat much cause there wasn't much food left. Dad was in a hurry to go off (cause he's hungry and he doesn't eat anything bbq) so we went to a nearby foodcourt for his dinner instead.

Am quite fustrated with Eddy cause he was surfing this gay website (www.gay.com) at work. He was happily showing off the pictures of all the men to me. When i was looking at their picture, i was DROOLING! Gosh! They are all sooo handsome and cute and their bodies are fantastic! My gosh.. If i have a bf like that, i would be sooo sooo sooo happy! Sooo cute.. Soo damm blardy gorgeous bodies!!!

*tIng starts drooling at the thought of cute, topless men.*

Argh.. damm saddening that they are all gays.. WHY WHY WHY?? Why do they like fucking men? *sighz*

If Singapore has a population of 4 million people, lets jus take it that 50% are men and 50% are women. Out of the the 2 million men, lets assume that 1/4 of them are children and teens, 1/4 are in their 20s to 30s, 1/4 are middle-age and the rest of the 1/4 are elderly. So i can only look for my prince within the 500,000,000 men. And from the 500,000,000 men, lets again assume that 1/3 are straight, 1/3 are gays and 1/3 are bisexuals. So actually the number of men who might be my prince is only about 166,666,666.67. And out of this 166,666,666.67 men, lets jus say that 50% are reasonable looking and the rest are fat, ugly and horrible, so that make 83,333,333.33 men.

Ok.. So far so good right.. But what about the unfaithful creeps? I guess this group of men will make up about 2/3 of them, so that leaves 27,777,777.77 men to be exact. Not bad, not bad.. But lets not forget about those who are already attached or married. So in the end, my prince could only be found within 13,888,888.88 men.

Hmmm.. Not bad not bad after all... I can still choose from 13,888,888.88 men! Opps.. I forgot to take into consideration the number of guys i've date. So that means 13,888,888.88 - 4 = 13,888,884.88. Hahahah.. Well, i guess its only a matter of time the right guy comes along and sweep me off my feet. =P

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus finished showering.. Feeling so much better now!! My off day was supposed to be tml but at the last minute his part time staff called to say that she cant make it tml. So this means that i have to work tml, which also means i'm going to have to work SEVEN days straight without resting! FUCK... Well.. Its ok i guess since i have no bf to accompany. *shrugz*

Am still not on speaking terms with kong. This is upsetting and nerve-wrecking. Wonder how long will this last? Maybe we wun speak till 50 years later, when i'm old and dying in the old folks' home. Or maybe he'll die before we ever talk again..

Its jus 23 days to Christmas.. Wonder if anyone's getting me any presents.. I would love to have presents.. Last year i had to work during Christmas. It was fun hanging out with frens at work but I really want to be at the beach celebrating it. Haiz.. I guess this dream would be quite impossible this year as well since i AGAIN ( for the 2nd year) have to WORK. Why do i always have to work during Christmas? Why? Maybe i'll ask Stanley and guys out then.. Maybe another drinking session.. Hmm.. Thats worth a thought.

Come to think of it, i should start thinking about New Year Resolutions as well..

*tIng walks away, mumbling to herself..*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.