Looking very pouty... 

Durffy's lookalike 

Started my new job today at ETC boutique (a couple of stores away from Inizio). The work is pretty easy.. Jus folding clothes.. attending to customers.. cashiering.. SIMPLE! The manager, Eddy, is asking me to do full time for him. The pay's a little on the low side but i'm still considering about it. He's very nice person.. keep asking me to take my time to eat, drink more water, do things slowly... It's a nice environment on the whole.

A very old lady came in today and while i was attending to her, she looked and my black nails and said she liked it! Haha.. Hip old granny.. Nice.

I'm having an awful headache now... and my body's burning up i think... better go recharge now..

*tIng plucks her head off her neck, places it on the desktop charger, and walks off to bed.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

The feeling of uneasiness is so strong that its scaring me. I fear that something bad is going to happen but i jus cant put my finger on what is it.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Phew.. jus got home from supper with Kiat, Ginger and Baby at Geylang. Had a really nice time talking to Ginger and Baby.. They are really nice ppl. In case i forgot to mention, they are trans. I do believe that in life you cant really choose your sexuality. They have a right to choose to live the life or gender they want. I'm proud of having friends like them cause they are people who really knows what they want to be. They are also very crappy too... =) Esp. Ginger who actually told the cabbie that we are going Geylang for mass orgy! The worse part, she asked HIM to join us!

*tIng nearly faints from laughing!*

Fucking funny lar... She damm cute and open about stuff. She can go on and on about sex.. No taboos or whatsoever. I've taken a liking to her.. kinda like a big sister cause she's very honest and open about how she feels about stuff. Its nice to hang out with her.

We went to watch this Korean comedy called "Everyone has secrets" at Cineleisure. This is the FIRST TIME in one year plus since i last patronised any other cinemas and the FIRST TIME i've actually have to pay to watch a movie.. HAHA.. guess i'm too used to using comp passes and signing in for free movies.. Actually Ginger bought the tixs beforehand so we went to the cinema without knowing what the hell we are watching. Its quite stupid rite?

But its a nice movie lar..So funny like their shagging scenes.. One guy shagging 3 sisters. Its amazing how he actually did it. The lead guy is really CHARMING! Its so OBVIOUS that his main aim was to shag the gal but yet he can put it in such a romantic and nice way. He said "Don't worry. I'll wait all eternity until you are ready. I'm just happy being with you."

*tIng holds her 3rd finger in the air and shouts "BULLSHIT, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!"*

The best part is all the 3 sister believed him. I can bet with my life that ALL, i mean ALL, the guys who watched this movie wished that they were HIM when they were leaving the cinema. He's like the GOD of liers! I cant believe at the ending they still protrayed him as the GOOD GUY who helped the sisters get their lives in order. I think its so MCP!

Anyway, i'm still considering whether to go for the interview tml.. Maybe i'll postpone it to next week cause i know i'll be too tired tml if i have to wake up early...

*tIng considers seriously.*

Think i'll drop the person a msg tml morning lar... Its time to sleep now!

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

tIng_er's navel ring 

I'm getting really busy these days.. My working life has become so busy suddenly... Its hard to describe it so i'll just put in my schedule for next week, starting from tml.

• Friday - Inizio (11am to 6pm)
• Saturday - Off day
• Sun - Boutique (11am to 9pm)
• Monday - GV
• Tuesday - GV
• Wed - Inizio
• Thursday - Off

See.. i'm working at 3 places.. Haha.. hope that i wun be blur blur and go the the wrong work place at wrong time. Gosh...

*tIng faints at the thought of all the working*

Suddenly feel like screaming "FUCK YOU" out loud. No particular reason whatsoever... Jus feel like it... Sometimes when walking on carpeted floor, i would suddenly have the urge to kick off my shoes and walk barefooted. Hmm... Strange urges...

Ok.. i'm going to put up some pics of my navel ring den i'll be off to bed.. =)

*tIng yawnz, rubbing her sleepy eyes.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I know I tend to get so insecure but it doesn't matter anymore.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus reached home! So happy today cause kiat bought me a new jacket from Zara, the one that i've been eyeing on! So pretty.. mei mei...

Anyway, been trying out a few diff part time job these few days... right now i have about 3 to 4 job on hand. Other than GV, i'm oso a beauty advisor at Inizio. And i'm going for another interview for a road show promoter tml morning. Plus, Dixian (my cousin) is introducing me to work at his company for telemarketing. *phewz* Really have to try to keep track of when i'm working at where.... Otherwise i might end up at the wrong place at the wrong time.

Am drinking the soya bean milk that my dad bought today... yummy.. i like soya bean milk! I oso like them with tangyuan (rice dumplings) .. YUMMY X 2046!!! I luv food!!!!

Love me, feed me.. NEVER LEAVE ME!!

*winkz*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

tIng @ city hall 

I'm fed up with the stupid template.

*tIng lets out a scream, pulling out her hair.*

As you can all see the pic is MISSING. The bandwide is exceeded and i cant upload it to another server. Please jus bear with it.. I'll get it fixed asap.


loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus came back from town.. Its raining over in this part of the world and its soo cold here. Bought a new book from Kino, Bridget's Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding. Its as though you are really reading her diary because of the writing format. Quite funny, light hearted and easy to read. I'm not those kind of people who reads english books often. My sis and I are 2 complete opposites when it comes to reading choices. She's into english lit while i'm fond of chinese poetry and novels. But i do read english books, usually those movies that i watched such as About a boy.

Suppose to go Chinablack today but i'm really too tired and sleepy. Slept for only few hours so i looked like a panda. I din put on any make up today so i looked horrible. Neither did i dress nice enough. Attractiveness = 0. So that's why i'm at home now, blogging on a Sat nite... My social life is practically non existent.

So tempted today to buy alots of stuff but i'm really broke. Pay's not coming out till next thurs. Sianz.. So far my wish list includes:

1) Discman
2) Zara's Pink Jacket
3) 3 doors Down cd
4) New white shoes

It's getting longer... Better work harder for money... *sighz*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I only have a few mintues to blog cause it's Junhao's ROM today and we are leaving the house at 9. Firstly, I GOT THE JOB!!!!!! The manager hired me straight after the interview even though she said they had interviewed a lot of ppl. But she said they were looking for someone older cause the brand Inizio has a upmarket clientele. Their customers mostly professionals working female so they tend to be more difficult to handle. But its ok lar... I'm jus a part timer. Jus smile and take it as it goes. *wide grinz*

Anyway, i gotta go.. fill the details in later!!

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I only have 15 mins to blog now cause i'm rushing for work and its raining pretty heavily now. Durffy, as usual, is afraid of the rain and is hiding now under the sofa in the living room. I had a very strange dream. I was a baby sitter in the first part of the dream and i fell in love with the baby's father. And in the second part of the dream, i was walking with my parents around a neighbourhood area which only has 9 blocks. I remember sooo clearly that the first block was at the top of the hill and the rest of the other 8 were around it. Why was i there? Funny how dreams have no links to each other..

But anyway, i'm finishing work early today. I'm not sure i should catch the 9 plus movies. I think White chicks silly so i'm not planning to watch that. No horror movies either... i'm scared. So what's left would be 2046 or Yesterday once more (andy lau and sammi cheung). Hmm.. I guess i'll think about it later... Gotta go now

*tIng grabs her jacket and rushes out of the room.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

If there ever was a competition for the most clumsy person on the surface of this world, i'll definately win it. First prize, champion, WINNER. I've jus managed to cut my elbow at a place no one would ever think of. The best part of this is that the blood from my wound jus kept flowing and flowing. I had to use like so many pieces of tissues to soak up the blood. Even after i've put a plaster over it, the blood still kept oozing from the sides.

*tIng shakes her head in sheer disbelief of her clumsiness.*

Well, to be frank to all, i was quite excited to see my blood flow out. I've never seen blood flowing so slowly and steadily. It's quite a sight actually. =p

It's such a cold night today and i saw lightning while waiting for bus at the interchange. I think its going to rain heavily tonight.

*tIng stand up and claps her hands.*

YEAH... i absolutely love to sleep when its raining. Its such a nice feeling, curling up under the blanket, hugging my soft soft pillow.. Although it might be better if i had someone to hug me to sleep, holding me in his/her arms, but i guess i'll have jus have to make do with Durffy next to me. *sighz*

As you might have noticed, the counter on the right has been changed. This is because the fucking old one was not working.. It jus did not keep count of the number of ppl who visited. What is the use of having a fucking counter when it DOES NOT FUCKING COUNT? %$#@! I had no choice but to look for a new one. It's been restarted now. %$#@!

Sorry be being criminally vulgar. It's hormones. I'm emotionally brittle now. My mood is swinging here, there and everywhere. It's getting on my nerves too. What to do? Think i better sleep early tonight before i start crying or doing anything funny.

Speaking of funny things, i'm debating whether i should hold a bonfire. I'm considering whether to hold a burning ceremony to mark the end of all the pain inside and also the start of Spinsterhood. Maybe i should invite Huilin over since she's also single. The rest of the gang are either happily married or attached, so they most prob cant join in. My neighbours would most likely freak out if they find me burning stuff around the house.

Nevertheless, it's worth a thought.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Was watching this talkshow on TV.. I think its worth sharing the topic with all gals out there. So here it is...

My New Dating Standards:

1) I will not date a man who keeps me waiting by the phone or on msn.
2) I will not date a man who is on drugs or drinks too much.
3) I will not date a man who makes me feel sexually undesirable.
4) I will not date a man who is not sure if he wants to date me.
5) I will not date a man who is afraid of talking our future.
6) I will not date a man who is married or attached.

I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me or who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.

When a guy says he is:

A Friend: He's just not that into you.

Busy: Busy means I'm the President of the United States. I'm an astronaut and I'm on another planet. I'm in a really successful band. What it means in relationships is, yeah, he's just not that into you.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Woken up by the manager of the skincare company..She said that i could start work like anytime next week. That's good. A change of environment would be nice. Hmm..

*yawnz*

I had a very strange dream. I dreamt that Kongkong was dicussing manpower stuff with me about Red Cross. Weird.. Even though he's in Red Cross and i was in Red Cross, it is 2 completely different groups. Mine''s more of a unit form group with camps and stuff and he's doing more like blood drive. Not even related in anyway.

*cough cough*

I'm feeling sick... its my stupid lungs acting up AGAIN.. AHHHH... cut cut cut it off!!!!

*tIng takes a knife, cuts open her chest to take out her lungs.*

What the freaking is wrong with it? I wish there's some repair center that i can send my lungs for maintainence.

Hmm...I'm hungry.. what's for lunch?!! *considers*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Found a new interesting site.. Check it out.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I'm home!!!~~ Its such a cold nite and i finished my HOT HOT HOT shower... i'm all covered up in my blankie..drinking soya bean milk that daddy bought.. soo comfy.. =P

Been blog surfing these few days and here's a couple of things i've noticed:

1) People can write in different languages eg. french, jap, spanish.
2) There are many kids using blogs. (When i was their age, i dun even know what's the internet! %$#@#$)
3) Its hard to find your fren's blog unless you know the address.
4) Blogspot's search engine is not for searching for blogs within blogspot. It is linked to Google.
5) Pressing the next blog button sometimes lead you to an empty page. (that is if you press it long enough.)
6) Some blogs are used for business purposes such as insurance companies.
7) People usually write "Hello" on their first post.
8) Some blogs do not have "Next Blog" button. (i think they jus dun want you to leave their blog?)
9) There are blogs dedicated to the lives of pets.
10) After spending one whole nite on blog surfing, i have yet to chance upon to my own blog.

Okay.. i know that was a bit of useless info but that's how bored i was yesterday. *shrugs* I think i am in serious need of a new hobby. Anyone can recommand anything? I've already learnt how to knit and i'm giving up this hobby cause all the wool stuff made my nose itch and i can hardly breathe.

Maybe i should pick up a third language.. French maybe.. I really regretted not taking french when i entered poly. I was too busy with club's activities and sch projs. The french lecturer was damm cute leh.. *sighz* Well, maybe i'll check out the community centre's courses.

Better go off now.. i forget that i'm working tml.. 1510... sianz!!! This means that i cant meet Huilin liao.. She wun be having off days till next sat... %$#@#$

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Guess what i dreamt of?!!! I was dreaming of having sex with another gal! And the thing is the gal is very pretty leh! I shan't go into the explicit details. *winkz* It was such as good dream.. *yawnz* why did i have to wake up?!

Hmm.. the sky is so cloudy today.. I cant even see the blue blue parts.. Looks like rain can be expected in the late afternoon or eveing... This is good news for me.. Rain means that people will stay at home. Very few ppl will come watch movies.. YEAH! Closing will be early!! YEAH!!

Its my off day tml... what shall i do? Feel like eating jap food.. Maybe i'll call Huilin see if she's free to meet me. I think i shall go collect my dip tml den maybe meet her for dinner at Jurong point. Hmm... its worth a thought *considers*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Fucking hell.. the dried apples i bought the other day are spoilt and i din even eat like half of it.. Why did i forget to put it in the fridge?!!! ARGH!! Waste my $$$... So expensive wor... They were supposed to be my healthy snack... 98% FAT FREE (only 2% fats leh)... AHH.. I'm pissed....

Bra Quiz Result

You Are an Animal Print Bra!

Wild, zany, and even a little crazy.

You make every date an unpredictable adventure.

You want a guy who will constantly surprise you.

A relationship that's the most insane ride of your life.

Hahaha.. Check it out!
loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus finished supper with some of my Gv frens.. Its didi's birthday today! Happy birthday! Hope you are happy with your presents! So expensive lehz... S.H.E's concert's front row tixs lehz... But you deserve it lar.. such a sweetheart and so nice to everyone..

*tIng lets out a burp*

Opps.. sorry.. I'm so full right now.. ate 2 prata (plain) with lotsa sugar and curry.. Yummy.. Yawnz.. feels sleepy already even though its jus 12 plus now..

Miki called today while i'm at work. She said she had this job offer as a beauty consultant for this Swiss brand. The pay is about $50 per day and i only have to work 3 days a week. I think ill give it a try. If i work 3 days there and 4 days at Gv, i'll get about $310 per week and that's $1240 per month. If some days i work morning over there, i can still make it for nite shift at GV. Then i'll get more. Not a bad idea.. *considers*

But anyway, this is just temp.. I'm looking for a FT job now.. But this will do till i find one that i like. Nothing more to write about.. guess i'll leave it till tml..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus got up.. feeling tired as usual.. have to rush to work later so this will be a very short post. My eyes are swollen from crying yesterday.. still feel abit hurt inside me.. i hope this feeling will not last long. This freaking month has been tough.. its like going through a rollar coaster... i feel emotionally drained.. physically drained too... too much crying... tooo much pain.. there isn't anything to smile or feel happy about nowadays.. cant seem to find any reason to do so..

All the things that happened this few weeks only made me realised one thing... no one truly loves you except yourself. I din love myself as much as i should. But i'll start doing it now. I'll stop trusting people so easily, stop being a plaything to others, stop believing that people really wan to be my frens, stop thinking that i should being nice to unnecessary people. I think i'm diffrent now.. so different from the person whom i used to be. The gal who keep smiling.. where is she now?

The only thing i can to do now is to try to hold back the tears. I dun wish to cry anymore. It's been too much, too long...

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Was on msn jus now and started talking to kong. He called me a bitch for reasons he refused to tell me. I din know what he meant but soon he din not reply me on msn. So i called him on his hostel number and asked him why did he say that. He refused to say but only that he found the things i did disgusting. I told him if he wanted to confront me about anyhing he could do it cause there is no more reason for me to lie to him. I told him he could say anything he want. But he said that there was no need to anymore. I'm truly hurt by your words cause they meant alot to me.

Dear kong,

It was never my intention to hurt you, upset you or make things difficult for you. If till now you have doubts about my words, i'm sorry. Its really the truth. I have no reasons to lie to you. I treated and treasured you as my friend, even though there were times when you din seem to care less about me, let alone talk to me or reply my sms. Maybe keeping me as a friend is only nothing but a game to you. Maybe you never wanted me as a friend. These i do not know and i hope its not true. I wish to think that you really thought of me as a friend.

But things don't seems to go the way they should. It seems that it will be better for me to leave this so called friendship and go away. Maybe it will be better for you. At least you wun be disgusted at the sight of me and be irritated at the things i do. Thank you for all the things that you had done for me and sorry for all the wrong things i did. I hope you will have a good life.

tIng

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Was surfing the net when i found a couple of murphy's laws about sex that's funny and kinda true... enjoy....

1) Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

2) The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.<

3)Every kind action has a not-so-kind reaction.

4) Nothing improves with age. =P

5) Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

6) Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

7) If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

8) Sex is dirty only if it's done right.

9) There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

10) Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.




loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus finished my dinner.... Ate chicken porridge and this thingy i dunno wats its called. Its made of beehoon and kangkong with is mixed in sweet sauce. Yummy... feeling very full now and satisfied. While i was eating, my mum asked me what did i ate for lunch. I told her i had instant noodles. She looked at me and said, "You cook it yourself ah?" The only response i could give her was "No, durffy cooked for me one." Like hell duh?!There's no one else at home leh... If only my dog would cook for me, i wun not have to go hungry in the night liaoz.. My dog is useless... I wish i could be my dog.. eat sleep all day and not work..

Oh.. i'm feeling so tired already and my back's aching like hell.. Nothing more to blog about.. *yawnz* going off..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Ah.. jus got back home!! I love being at home these days!! I can only feel absolutely safe here, within the four walls of my home... dunno what to blog about so i'll jus briefly describe what happened today...

1015am
I dun think i "woke up" cause i hardly slept through the nite

1030am
Dragged myself to the toilet to shower and got dressed

1045am
Checked my blog before leaving the house.

1159am
Reached Bugis Mrt station... yawning every 5 minutes.... Huilin was late AGAIN.. so i went to Cold storage while waiting. I'm always very thirsty when i dun get enough sleep. Bought a small carton of apple juice and a packet of dried apples. Actually, i'm tempted to buy the big carton of juice but i dun really think its nice to be walking around with such a BIG carton of juice. Looks too unladylike... heehee (as though i'm very demure like tat).

1215am
Finally, Huilin arrived and we went around walking cause Su ken had not finished work. Sat down at Mos burger and started crapping about stuff at work. Huilin told me that there were 3 tourists at the Zoo the other day who happily bought tickets for the tram ride. They waited at the stop for the tram, got on the tram and waited to be driven around to see the animals. After a while, they felt that it was strange that not only din they not see any animals but there were only cars around. Finally, they went up to the bus driver and asked, "Excuse me, why here no see animals?" The driver was, of course, surprised that their question! This is because they mistook the SBS bus for the tram ride. They had actually reached Lot 1 already! Luckily for them, there was a zoo staff on the bus so he took them back to the zoo. Its such a stupid thing to do. Poor tourists.. they must had feel pretty embarrassed. Hahahah

145pm
Su ken reached and we went to Sakea Sushi for a late lunch. I'm sooo happy... I love jap food... Yummy... I ate sooo much.. First it was prawn sushi, then somen, chawamushi, fried toufu and Yasai tempura... Yummy!!! I was so tempted to order the mochi but my tummy was soo full already... It was a long lunch since its been such a long time we last met and we had lots of catching up to do. I missed hanging out with my gal frens... I think i'll start making more time for them now that i'm single.

340pm
Feeling VERY FULL, we made our way down to the temple at waterloo street. It was very crowded today. Lots of people.. very smoky.. Su ken was kind enough to help me get the joss sticks cause i'm allergic to the fumes. Went to get a divination lot. Not a bad one i would say.

It said:
"Be flexible in your ways. A good person will reap good rewards. To the lucky soul who gets this "chiam" is like a very thirsty person getting water to drink."

Interpretation: Good
Providence is compassionate. Common beings have not. The Gods and the Buddha will aid you. Do not be foolish and forget them.

Hmm... If you really ask me, i dun really know what it means. But at least its good rite? But i think it meant that i should continue trying to be good towards everyone. =) Anyway, i've got 2 amulets, one for me and the other one for Kong cause he's having exams soon. Don't get me wrong. Its nothing special but jus as a fren i hope he'll do well for his exams.

After walking around in OG for a while, Huilin bought a nail base and top coat. I bought a small bottle of black nail polish. Su ken bought her bra too.. After that, walked to the Mrt station. I was debating whether to go down to pass Kong his amulet. I dun want to come down all the way on my next off day alone.. its stupid to travel all the way down and back.. Since Huilin lives in Boon Lay, i decided to accompany her home and meet Kong to pass him the stuff. On the journey to BL, i took out my nail polish and started applying. The little kid, who was sitting beside me was a bit freaked out by the colour. Poor kid.. must have thought that i was crazy or something. But the colour looked quite nice though...

Kong drove down to meet me at JP. We met for like less than 5 minutes and i went to take train home. Quite stupid rite? Took the train all the way back from Boon Lay to Simei. However, on my way back, i received a msg from Kong. He said, " Hey thanks. I appreciate it but i think u need not treat me so well. prehaps these are things u'd do for a friend but i wont return these favours" What the %$#@!? Seriously, i'm abit insulted. I'm being nice to him because i think he's one person whom i can look to if i need an honest opinion and i know that he wun lie to me. As a fren, i hope that he'll do well and not fail any of his subjects. Its a nice gesture. If Kong thinks that i'll trying to win him back or anything, he sooo DAMM WRONG. I'm not so stupid to think that by treating him nice he'll want me back.

(tIng opens up her skull, pokes around the grey matter and checks.)

There's something between my ears called the BRAIN. Though its not much, but its still working. Kong likes to complicate things. He thinks too much and reads too much into every little thing. If i really had a motive, why did i get into the car or ask him to take me out for dinner? If i had a motive, why din i ask him to watch movie with me? If i had a motive, why din i go to his hostel? If i had to do everything for a motive, i'll be quite busy. It is jus a simple gesture of being NICE. Is it a crime to be nice? I'm nice to everyone too. If the old man on the bus had no seat, I'll be nice enough to stand up and offer him my seat. I'm being nice. What's wrong with being nice? I'm the kind of person who does things for my frens. If anyone needs anything, i'm more than willing to help.

Don't read too much into the things i do. I'm jus a simple gal in a complex world.

LoVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I'm supposed to be sleeping! I'm supposed to meet Huilin at Bugis tml at 12! I'm supposed to wake up early tml and try my best to NOT look like a PANDA. Hahaha... Then why i am still blogging?! Good question! I have NO IDEA! Cause I have no one to talk to now... I could try talking to Durffy (who ignored me yesterday when i tried talking to him about his hair). I could also try talking to myself or my laptop. But either way is jus as crazy as talking to Durffy. So i'm jus blogging to pass my time till i feel sleepy enough..

Where the HELL is the sandman? He's supposed to sprinkle magic dust on me to make me sleepy! Maybe he lost his way? Maybe he missed out my name on the list? Or maybe he's jus got himself sooo drunk that he forgotten all about it! Those of you who are still awake at this moment, he most prob had forgotten about you too! So get your ass in bed and start counting sheeps! I'm going to start counting now.. but i'm not going to count sheeps.. I'm allergic to wool... Any suggestions on what to count? Hmm... by the way, which freaking person came up with the idea about counting sheeps when you cant sleep? This is worth some thought.

Maybe i'll find an answer in my dreams! Going off now... And to you who is reading this, have a nice nitey and sweet dreams!

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I'm FINALLY BACK HOME!!!! Gosh.. i'm so damm glad to be home for once! Work as usual sux.. Many people.. I was being very irritable today.. Cant stand ppl who cant make up their minds betweetn sweet or salted popcorn! Is it sooo difficult for you to decide? It's not as if i'm asking you to make a decision whether to get married or not. Quit wasting my time. ARGH! Felt as though i might burst anytime soon. REALLY.

Everything is sooo wrong today. I'm such a klutz. Within a few hours at work, i had already managed to:

1) Cut my little finger (which is still bleeding as i'm typing)
2) Scalded my hand because of hot cheese (Can you imagine that?)
3) Bumped my knee cap against the cupboard (Got a bruise to prove that)

I'm sooo clumsy! Cant seem to concentrate on wat i'm doing... Stupid me

Nevertheless, something nice happened at work today. Some of my ex co-workers came back today to visit. Jason and Cecelia dropped by after having dinner at TM. Jason was sweet enough to tell me that i looked prettier! That made me sooo happy, considering the fact that he always pretend not to hear me talk when we were working together. Cecelia's coming back to work next week. She din like her new job very much! YEAH FOR ME! Finally, someone can accompany me at work now! Hahahah! Other than the two of them, Miki also came by with her bf. She said i looked tired. I guess its because i have not been sleeping so well lately. So nice to see old friends again...

I'm watching this show on tv now and its called "Single White Female". How many of you remember this show? It's a very very old show.. i like it alot.. Its like becoming someone whom you think is sooo perfect. The person who everyone liked, the person who is so popular and successful. I guess in everyone there must be a part which they want to be someone else. I do have that feeling sometimes. I want to be someone whom everyone likes hanging out with.. I want to be popular too. Sometimes, you will look at a person and say to yourself, "Gosh, i really want to be her. I want her hair, her make up, her dress.. everything." I think i can understand how she felt in the movie. She jus wanted to be accepted and loved. I want to be accepted and loved too.

Well, i guess in most cases, we cant be someone else. We are who we are. I am who i am. Love me for who i am, and not the someone i'm trying to be. =)
loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

*yawnz* Jus woke up.. had a very weird dream last nite but i shan't bored you with the details. My eye bags are getting sooo big and heavy that they are practically touching the floor... Gosh.. Maybe i should consider moving to China. I'm sure they will treat me very well there. Most prob they will give me lots of food to eat and i'm have all the time in the world to sleep. Eat, sleep and walk around acting cute. Hmm... not a bad idea.... The chinese ppl will treasure for sure.. *considers seriously* I still have to get to work later... Its Friday nite... Damm those ppl who come to watch movie. I hate fridays....

*tIng walks out of the room, dragging her eye bags with her.*

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Another song.. Love me when i'm gone

There's another world inside of me
That you may never see
There's secrets in this life
That I can't hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There's a light that I can't find
Maybe it's too far away...
Maybe I'm just blind...

Maybe I'm just blind...

So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
Hold me when I'm scared
And love me when I'm gone
Everything I am
And everything you need
I'll also be the one
You wanted me to be
I'll never let you down
Even if I could I'd give up everything
If only for your good
So hold me when I'm here
Love me when I'm wrong
You can hold me when I'm scared
You won't always be there
So love me when I'm gone

Love me when I'm gone...

When your education x-ray
Can not see under my skin
I won't tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Roaming through this darkness
I'm alive but I'm alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone

Maybe I'm just blind...

Love me when I'm gone...
Love me when I'm gone...
When I'm Gone


loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I'm soo pissed off right now.. So pissed for at Kong for saying things he shouldn't have. It was really just a conversation with a fren. Nothing else. Nothing more. I swear with my life. Why did he had to think this way? I jus needed someone to talk to me. I'm desperate for someone to talk to me. I dun care who that person is! I jus need someone to talk to. Can he understand that?
Seng chye jus happened to be bored enought to talk to me. Seriously, he's nothing but a fren. Why did he have to say those things? Didn't i tell him the other day? Things are not all that complicated as he thinks they are. It was jus talking. There isn't anyone who will bother themselves with me these days. No one to talk to. That feeling sux. Its like searching through my phonebook and only to realise that there's no one i can msg or call jus to talk. It really sux. I jus feel so alone. Frens. I need frens. I'm soo pissed.. I'm going to finish one carton of milk..

Finally back from work! It's been such a long time since i last did candybar closing... so tiring.. maybe i'm getting old? My schedule for this week really sux big time... All candybar closing.. i requested for mid shift cause i dun wanna do closing anymore but they jus put me at closing... what the fuck... damm sianz...

Saw two ads that i'm quite interested in today on the newspapers, one is an events company looking for an events coordinator and the other on is TCC looking for a management trainee. I like both jobs actually. Events coordinating is quite challenging and dynamic. But i still love food too much... i like working with food... Hmm... I guess i'm have to check for out first. I've already asked Huilin to go for interview with me liaoz... hope and pray we can get in together... I dun like having no friends at work...

Anyway, it was nice to see all my friends at Gv today. Everything is so familar yet somethings had changed. Laughed alot at all the stupid joke made by alvin and ah boon.. apparently ah boon likes one of the gal at work... Heehee... Puppy Love..... sooo sweet...

Kathy told me something about love today. She said, "In life, you will meet 3 persons. One is the person who loves you the most, one is the person whom you love the most and the last one is the one whom you will share your life with. However, these 3 persons are usually all different people." I guess there's some truth in her words. Given a choice, i would like to share my life with the person i love most. But its really quite impossible for things to turn out so perfect. I think most people would choose the second best option, which is to spend their lives with the person who loves them the most. I think this is a very selfish way but i guess everyone is selfish.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Going off to work now... Hope that everything is will be ok... Give me strength to carry on.. I shall not cry.. =)

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus went into my room to get my pillow only to realised that durffy peed on my bed.. think i'll have to sleep in my sis room tonite... haiz..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I'm supposed to cry. I'm supposed to feel upset. But i simply refuse to stay in my room to do all that. Cant slp despite the fact that i should cause have to work tml. Cant find anyone to talk to. Dun wanna stay alone in my room.

I'm human and i need to be loved.

Am watching my fav taiwan variety show.. tonight they are talking about past lives, karma and such. Actually, i'm one person who truely believes in such things. This is not because i'm superstitious or what but its because i used to have memories of my past live.

When i was a little gal (barely three years old), i was still staying at my grandma's place in Joo chiat area. One particular morning, i woke up and as usual went to look for my mum, who's cooking in the kitchen. I told my mum i'm going out and my mum was, of course, quite shocked when she heard this. So she asked me where was i going. I told her i have to go help people. I also told her that alot of people are dying and there were soldiers all around. I told her i had to help cook for all of them. Strange isn't it?

I guess memories from the past live are inside a person. However, as time passes, these memories tend to fade away. Now that i'm older i cant rem any of those things. Some time ago, when i went to Peneng with my family, i went to a temple and my mum asked me if i wanted to try to find out more about my past life. The uncle at the temple used my lunar birth date to calculate who i was in my previous life. It was said that i was a woman in my past live. He also said that during some chaos, i actually robbed someone, and in this live i'll meet with some accident to make up for that misdeed. Hmm.... coincidence? Could it be that i was a gal during war times in my past life? Or is it jus pure coincidence?

Whatever it is, I guess one thing i know for sure is that in life one will always make mistakes and would have to pay for their mistakes some way or another, this life or another. =)

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Called Gv jus now... tml i'm working candybar closing... Gosh... I dun wan to go to work but i need some distractions. Better than staying at home doing nothing. I've taken down some posts which i wrote about them. I refuse to be the irritating ex-gf who goes around disturbing people. Neither will i talk about any of the things that happened. I still have my pride and dignity. That's all i have left. I also added a new link at the side.. Its Happy Tree Friends. Check it out..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

I'm soooo tired but yet i cant get to sleep... Too much things on my mind. I need some distraction. I dun wish to think about anything rite now.. Please let me sleep peacefully tonight. My head is swollen from knocking against the wall. My eyes hurt from crying. I'm so tired, mentally and physically. Please take me somewhere i could rest what's left of my heart and soul. I'm waiting for you to take me there.. whoever you are. Please dun leave me alone here. Rescue me.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

My sister is coming back from Aussie soon... So i left comments on her blog telling her how i feel about it.

Me:
Dear Sister,
I'm enjoying myself, pretending i'm the ONLY CHILD. If possible, make my dream REAL. Thankz

Lotsa sibling rivalry,your SISTER

My sis:
That's just too bad. i'm coming back soon. you only child? you wait long long. in fact, i'm going dedicate a blog entry to you, my dear sister who don't give a damn about me. you fucking bitch.

(refer to the link at the side)

Me:
Dear sister,
Judging by your comments, i really decided that i ENJOY being the ONLY child of the family. Therefore, i would like to dedicate a song to you (since you dedicated a blog entry to me), and the song is "Where is the LOVE?"

Your sis
tIng

An Open Letter To My Sister Ting
Dear Ah-Ting,

How have you been? I am fine. I have been eating well, and my spirits are generally high. However, I miss Singapore badly. I miss our little warm family, as well as the two dogs who love running about the apartment.

I am writing this letter to you because I am greatly saddened by your comment on my earlier post . I thought it was really nothing but a nicer way of asking me to "Fuck off".
Usually, I will accept this "Fuck off" with geniality. After all, plenty of people ask me to "Fuck off" everyday. You yourself told me to "Go away lah" everyday that I was home. Bryan especially mumbles "I hate you, I hate you...why can't you leave me alone?" with incredible regularity. Siew Hua the Flowercrab even makes it a point to call me "fucker" or "bitch" affectionately if we talk on the phone. My other friends are typically kind to me, so don't worry. They do, however, insult me every now and then just for fun. But it's just for fun. So you don't have to worry.

I guess I must be quite irritating. But sigh, I really do not wish to be. Yet, what can I do really? I am the way I am. If you must blame anyone, blame Mummy for making me the way I am.
I wish you wouldn't blame her though, because I love her. I think you love her also right? We can love her together when I'm back in Singapore. I'm glad I'm coming home soon to everybody, and of course to you too. Somehow I get the idea that you like being an ONLY CHILD.
That is really funny. HA HA HA! Come to think of it, I am the ELDER CHILD. So basically I CAME FIRST. In fact, I arrived two years before you did. I WAS THE ONLY CHILD UNTIL YOU CAME ALONG. Did you even ask my permission to arrive? You didn't! You are the one who messed up my plans of being AN ONLY CHILD.

I know you hate me. I know you hate me because I snatched your doll pram during your second birthday. But I only wanted to be photographed together with it. Like that also wrong meh? I know you hate me also because we always wanted the same things. But mostly you copied me, not the other way round. I wanted Barbie dolls, you also. I wanted the Fisher Price masak-masak set, you also.

Then we grew up. The TV remote-control is always in your hands. I can't even watch what I want to because you will be busy channel-surfing. Remember how your motto used to be "Absorb the most amount of information in the least amount of time"? Then you took my clothes, my make-up, my shoes, my bags. Lucky we have different taste in men. Sigh, what makes you think I am happy about all this? Hmph!

And then you still had the cheek to hide my beloved teddy bear around the apartment just for the fun of seeing me search for him anxiously. Sighhh.

Anyway, I do want you to know I miss you. And I want to reassure you that I will be back in less than a month. I look forward to our reunion again. I look forward to:

1) Hiding the TV remote-control from you.
2) Irritating you with Sakak.
3) Snatching Mummy's attention from you.
4) Blasting Symphony 92.4FM just for your ears.
5) Make your life hell just by being alive.

Oh by the way, my birthday is coming. I thought that I should remind you in case you have forgotten it. I still remember how one year I have to buy the birthday present for myself, and you didn't even want to pay me back for it. I still remember how I used to doodle big posters of "GIVE ME THE MONEY FOR MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT BACK!" and stuck it on your door. I still remember how in the end I got to rummage through your wallet for a measly ten dollars that didn't even cover the cost of the birthday present.

Anyway, no grudges since we are sisters. Why not you just wrap a S$50 angbao for me this time. I'll get my own birthday present. Thanks.

Send my affectionate love to our parents, and the two lovely dogs.

See you soon! Love you! Muaks! Hugs!

YOUR SISTER,
Jac

Me:
Dear sister,

You can try to do all the things to irritate the shit out of me. However, i would like to warn you of the possible consequences. They are:

1)Dismember Sakak (He is not my brother, mother do not acknowledge him as her son.)
2)Mess up all your books or maybe cut holes in some of the pages.
3)Remove the "Enter" key on your laptop. (This is a punishment for hiding the remote control).
4)Put glue in your foundation.

BE AFRAID... BE VERY AFRAID.

P/s: Channel surfing is MY PREROGATIVE. It is a SPORT.

See how much sisterly love we have?

Jus came back from Jon's hall.. went to pass him his birthday present cause his birthday is tomolo. Did what i should do.. repaid him by treating him better. Guess i dun owe him anything anymore.

Very tired today cause i didn't sleep well the day before. Dragged myself to bed around430am... but i jus cant fall asleep despite the fact i was very tired. Stared at the ceiling for a very long time... thought about alot of stuff... Couldn't stand it anymore so i got up and took what's left of my cough syrup. Dun get me wrong... I'm not trying to kill myself or anything. Jus wanted to fall asleep. Sure enough, i fell asleep. I don't know why but suddenly i jus woke up again. Cant remember what i dreamt of but all i know is the fact that i was frightened. Very frightened.. I was covered with sweat and felt too weak to move. The feeling was horrible. I dunno how to describe this feeling. I never felt so alone and afraid before. So scared of being alone in the dark. Why am i feeling this way?

Couldn't fall asleep after that.. jus tossed and turned on my bed till dawn....

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus came back from Eastpoint.. went to meet kathy to trim eyebrows.. Its painful to pluck out each strand one by one.. But i guess pain is nothing new to me. Like I always say to everyone, "Pain makes you feel alive." It really does. Sometimes when i feel really cold and numb inside, i cant really feel anything else but pain. I've tried many ways to inflict pain on myself. My pierceings, my tattoo.. my pills swallowing habits, knocking my head against the wall, cutting my wrist, trying to get myself in an accident by standing in the middle of the expressway. I've tried many ways. One day, if i really become desperate, i think i'll try sticking my head in the mircowave oven. *considers*

Kathy and Su ken asked me why do i do all these when i know that they are dangerous. I guess its really more of a habit.. somewhere inside me has been hurt so badly that no amount physical pain matters anymore. Knocking my head against the wall is my way of trying to figure out all the questions i have inside my head. Sounds stupid rite?

I really have to admit i'm quite sick already. All the pills taking has damaged my stomach. Cant really eat all the things without wanting to throw up. What i can do now? Like my mum always say, "If anything spoil, jus cut lor". Cut my stomach? *considers* erm... i dun really think its really feasible. I still like it inside me...

Some people may think i'm cheerful, open, talkative and friendly. But this is only what they see on the surface. Inside me, there's a dark side too. Inside, its a person with really complex thoughts, someone that no one may ever understand. I dun even understand myself that much so dun assume that you understand me. Jus beacuse i'm predictable doesn't mean that you understand me. But one thing for sure, that person inside has a death wish. I'll continue trying all means to hurt myself.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Another song... really says how i feel now


loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Was suppose to meet kathy for suntaning today but unfortunately it rained so had to give up the plans. Stoned at home all day with nothing to do..except watch tv... Sianz.... Su ken told me today that her company has an opening for an a/c assistant and asked if i wanted to try. Sigh.. too bad i sux at accounts otherwise i would take up the job. I dun mind working with su ken. After all, we worked together at Gv and taka for so long and we get along pretty well.

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus came back from cutting my hair at auntie agnes' place... Dyed my hair black and cut my fringe... Now i look like a school gal.. Heehee.. I like the way i look.. i think that coloured hair are so out...i'm going back to my roots.. black hair....

Actually, i've been obsessed with the colour black lately... I'm thinking whether i should paint my room black as well... So tempted.. If i ever did that my mum and dad most prob think that i have gone nuts and send me to the doctor! Hahaha.. But who cares? My room.. I LIKE LEH.... sue me..

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

Jus came back from tampines after watching the movie "The New Police Story". Daniel wu is soooooooooo handsome and sexy!!! Gosh!!! Too bad he's supposely gay.... Why are all the attractive guys either gay or taken?? Sooooo sian......

Went jogging again... my legs are killing me... muscle ache.... Think i'm getting old! AH!! I bet the uncle downstairs can run faster than me and i bet he doesn't suffer from muscle ache! %$$#@! Freaking hell...

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.

This is the second time i'm writing my blog today. The stupid site didn't publish my post jus now. Irritating... Had to retype everything... Sianz... So much for technology and its benefits to humans..

Went jogging today outside my house and it really felt damm good! I love the way my body feels after a run... sweat dripping down my face and back and the heat burning up my body. It's been such a long time since i last exercise.. maybe i should jog regularly now since i'm so free. I'm so full of energy now!!

Anyway, talking about energy.. i woke up feeling quite good today as well. Maybe its because of my new bedsheets.. so comfy... hahaha.. Think i'm obsessed with my bed now...

loVe iS a deLuSiOn tHat OnE mAn dIffErs fRoM aNotHer.